first book by Boban Ignatius !!!!!

boban's wonders Tuesday, December 2, 2014 first book by Boban Ignatius !!!!! boban's wonders Wednesday, March 4, 2009 You should have such a life work hard, never waste even a second. Put up higher energy levels at work. Stay positive and healthy Be disciplined and be full of energy. • Self discover yourself • Discover what you are born to do Should be Professional Life Player – Winning holistically. handle each situations with dare, courage , wisdom, planning tactics No excuses accepted. only performance is accepted It is about keeping it simple,baby. have a good life Hard working fun living the life have positive goals. Do everything constructively Take ourselves Don’t think in a complicated way Treat yourself very well with respect Get a real caring spouse!


 Help yourself professionally Do Proper financial Planning Managing other people is all about managing yourself The world is made for each other. Everyone adds value . you get the newspaper, electricity, milk. This pen book etc. this is all somebody else's livelihood. No job is a bad job. There is dignity of labor. life is beautiful. We are born to be happy, successful, Rich, famous treating ourselves very well loved by ourselves &others health, entertained, celebrating ourselves money, fun, power, quantity time spent

Winners do not complain much They never let anything come in their way . if there is an obstacle they will solve if without getting frustrated they are so focused, calm We talk about someone's sex appeal but what makes someone appealing is his/her success factor sexiness is certainly about the way we behave with ourselves and others Women look for success object Most beautiful women are married to most successful men In terms of marriage also: they look @ few things well settled groom This attitude, behavior, pleasant personality, people skills, character !looks are important as well So , you better treat yourself like a billionaire ! Though not by spending loads of cash on the restaurants ! But simply believe you can be amongst the best in the world ! and add value to the world like a billionaire does ! You must also believe that you are worth the best of the best things in the world !


 Many underdogs are too content being underdogs ! they have potential which is not backed by their lack of self drive or lack of initiatives! So , people and even private equity players might feel they must invest in these fellows business es but alas! They could be in danger ! you see , success is a habit !you gotta keep doing it everyday ! winners might drink some wine but they do not whine! All I am trying to convince you is that unless some one has that fire in his belly he’ll never make it big ! success is born out of that urge to grow and improve further ! you just gotta have that motivation and desire from within your own self to do something and be someone ! http://www.bobanignatius.in/9008440443

You just gotta trust your instincts , give it what it takes and you need not compare yourself with anybody else! You gotta be doing your duties everyday ! In life there are only duties ! I mean if you are a shop keeper , getting the cash out of that customer may be the sweetest things sometimes ; but that doesn’t mean it is not your duty ! its your duty ,my dear ! ! so you do your duties , enjoy the results of your duties it’s that simple ! even love is a sweet responsibility

Life demands and welcomes honest ,straightforward,open communication ! the quality of your communication determines the standard of living that you’ll enjoy! What’s communication ! It’s the act of coming together of some individuals !meeting of minds! Whether in office, your hostel , family , parties , whatever it could be !so , you better communicate with the other people who matters to achieve your goals , in order to take more initiatives etc

Some of your goals could be like some of these ! I want to work hard , be straightforward ,I want to be able support my family , I want them to be of some great qualities .I want to spend time with my parents , my wife, my children! I want to take them on a holiday and I want them to get good health care , I want some great friends I want my career and business to go places and be more fun! I want more , more fun time &hobbies ! I want my life to be happening Want to eat some great food! I want some time for myself! You must wear “ may I help You” attitude everyday and add value to the world ! Enthusiasm , high energy level ,consistent hard work will take you places if used with a vision and also with your brains !

Take a practical approach towards life by thinking “ what you can do with what you’ve got” This along with Self Knowledge will keep your energy levels high SK gives you a fair idea about what you are capable of if you are quite aware about the outside world and the opportunities it throw at you ! My SWOT = my Strengths, my weaknesses, my opportunities ,my Threats Life is a game ! everybody is a player ! Take everything in sportsman spirit ! A= Attitude= ability to take everything in sportsman spirit : take it from a born winner if something happens which he doesn’t really like “ no hard feelings , mate ! A= Application factor , ability to apply your skills , adapting oneself to a given situation , Adding value B=Brains = use your brains to good effect ! Do think , develop[p your brains ,think constructively !

 B=Body language : have an open , erect body language communicating openness, positive and healthy personality,move yourself gracefully ;possess a great gait C=Confidence & Communication skills take you everywhere and you better have these assets ! D= Determination , Discipline E=Energy level , Enthusiasm ,Empathy F= Fun , Fashion & Fans G=Glory H= Hit the bull’s eye I= Innovation Never Hesitate ! Have Courage to face things and situations as they really are ! Take Problems Head on ! You are an independent , smart personality If you want to be loved &cared by other people , first become , loveable ! Charity begins @ Home; So , Start by loving your own self ! First , accept yourself as who you really are ! \ GUTS &GLORY TRAVEL TOGETHER !

 There are both good &bad in this world .you gotta be tactful &gentle in handling both ! Never buy a thing which you don’t really need After all this world is a huge market ! and we are all players ! the market determines our price ! we are at each others service! we are here to make this world a better world by adding value helping each other perform at least a bit better! So take each other ‘s help if you feel it’s gonna give better results ! And pay them well for serving you . everybody / thing has a price {Run toward Life , Don’t Run away from Life } Leadership is mostly Self management ,Time management , Goal Management , Money management ,People management , Resource management , Conflict management , Situation management , Crisis management One needs to be careful yet proactive towards any given Life situation!

 Discover your true calling ! BOOST your self confidence ,SWOT ya Self knowledge, influential& communication skills, self management, conflict management ,achievement ,self drive , optimism ,empathy,cooperation &team work skills,trustworthiness,responsible attitude ,adaptability Observe &learn from successful people who enjoy every bit of their success . I have understood that someone who really enjoys success will more frequently repeat that habit ! After all success is as simple as bowling a maiden over whether in date or cricket ! you gotta learn how to do it . practice doing it ! Simple ! So , Best of luck !

first book by Boban Ignatius !!!!!

boban's wonders Wednesday, March 4, 2009 You should have such a life work hard, never waste even a second. Put up higher energy levels at work. Stay positive and healthy Be disciplined and be full of energy. • Self discover yourself • Discover what you are born to do Should be Professional Life Player – Winning holistically. handle each situations with dare, courage , wisdom, planning tactics No excuses accepted. only performance is accepted It is about keeping it simple,baby. have a good life Hard working fun living the life have positive goals. Do everything constructively Take ourselves Don’t think in a complicated way Treat yourself very well with respect Get a real caring spouse! Help yourself professionally Do Proper financial Planning Managing other people is all about managing yourself The world is made for each other. Everyone adds value . you get the newspaper, electricity, milk. This pen book etc. this is all somebody else's livelihood. No job is bad job. There is dignity of labor. life is beautiful. We are born to be happy, successful, Rich, famous treating ourselves very well loved by ourselves &others health, entertained, celebrating ourselves money, fun, power, quantity time spent Winners do not complain much They never let anything come in their way . if there is an obstacle they will solve if without getting frustrated they are so focused, calm We talk about someone's sex appeal but what makes someone appealing is his/her success factor sexiness is certainly about the way we behave with ourselves and others Women look for success object Most beautiful women are married to most successful men In terms of marriage also: they look @ few things well settled groom This attitude, behavior, pleasant personality, people skills, character !looks are important as well So , you better treat yourself like a billionaire ! Though not by spending loads of cash on the restaurants ! But simply believe you can be amongst the best in the world ! and add value to the world like a billionaire does ! You must also believe that you are worth the best of the best things in the world ! Many underdogs are too content being underdogs ! they have potential which is not backed by their lack of self drive or lack of initiatives! So , people and even private equity players might feel they must invest in these fellows business es but alas! They could be in danger ! you see , success is a habit !you gotta keep doing it everyday ! winners might drink some wine but they do not whine! All I am trying to convince you is that unless some one has that fire in his belly he’ll never make it big ! success is born out of that urge to grow and improve further ! you just gotta have that motivation and desire from within your own self to do something and be someone ! http://www.bobanignatius.in/9008440443 You just gotta trust your instincts , give it what it takes and you need not compare yourself with anybody else! You gotta be doing your duties everyday ! In life there are only duties ! I mean if you are a shop keeper , getting the cash out of that customer may be the sweetest things sometimes ; but that doesn’t mean it is not your duty ! its your duty ,my dear ! ! so you do your duties , enjoy the results of your duties it’s that simple ! even love is a sweet responsibility Life demands and welcomes honest ,straightforward,open communication ! the quality of your communication determines the standard of living that you’ll enjoy! What’s communication ! It’s the act of coming together of some individuals !meeting of minds! Whether in office, your hostel , family , parties , whatever it could be !so , you better communicate with the other people who matters to achieve your goals , in order to take more initiatives etc Some of your goals could be like some of these ! I want to work hard , be straightforward ,I want to be able support my family , I want them to be of some great qualities .I want to spend time with my parents , my wife, my children! I want to take them on a holiday and I want them to get good health care , I want some great friends I want my career and business to go places and be more fun! I want more , more fun time &hobbies ! I want my life to be happening Want to eat some great food! I want some time for myself! You must wear “ may I help You” attitude everyday and add value to the world ! Enthusiasm , high energy level ,consistent hard work will take you places if used with a vision and also with your brains ! Take a practical approach towards life by thinking “ what you can do with what you’ve got” This along with Self Knowledge will keep your energy levels high SK gives you a fair idea about what you are capable of if you are quite aware about the outside world and the opportunities it throw at you ! My SWOT = my Strengths, my weaknesses, my opportunities ,my Threats Life is a game ! everybody is a player ! Take everything in sportsman spirit ! A= Attitude= ability to take everything in sportsman spirit : take it from a born winner if something happens which he doesn’t really like “ no hard feelings , mate ! A= Application factor , ability to apply your skills , adapting oneself to a given situation , Adding value B=Brains = use your brains to good effect ! Do think , develop[p your brains ,think constructively ! B=Body language : have an open , erect body language communicating openness, positive and healthy personality,move yourself gracefully ;possess a great gait C=Confidence & Communication skills take you everywhere and you better have these assets ! D= Determination , Discipline E=Energy level , Enthusiasm ,Empathy F= Fun , Fashion & Fans G=Glory H= Hit the bull’s eye I= Innovation Never Hesitate ! Have Courage to face things and situations as they really are ! Take Problems Head on ! You are an independent , smart personality If you want to be loved &cared by other people , first become , loveable ! Charity begins @ Home; So , Start by loving your own self ! First , accept yourself as who you really are ! GUTS &GLORY TRAVEL TOGETHER ! There are both good &bad in this world .you gotta be tactful &gentle in handling both ! Never buy a thing which you don’t really need After all this world is a huge market ! and we are all players ! the market determines our price ! we are at each others service! we are here to make this world a better world by adding value helping each other perform at least a bit better! So take each other ‘s help if you feel it’s gonna give better results ! And pay them well for serving you . everybody / thing has a price {Run toward Life , Don’t Run away from Life } Leadership is mostly Self management ,Time management , Goal Management , Money management ,People management , Resource management , Conflict management , Situation management , Crisis management One needs to be careful yet proactive towards any given Life situation! Discover your true calling ! BOOST your self confidence ,SWOT ya Self knowledge, influential& communication skills, self management, conflict management ,achievement ,self drive , optimism ,empathy,cooperation &team work skills,trustworthiness,responsible attitude ,adaptability Observe &learn from successful people who enjoy every bit of their success . I have understood that someone who really enjoys success will more frequently repeat that habit ! After all success is as simple as bowling a maiden over whether in date or cricket ! you gotta learn how to do it . practice doing it ! Simple ! So , Best of luck !

The Top Ten Greatest Directors of All Time
by Ben Shapiro
Last week, I stirred some folks up with my Top Ten Most Overrated Directors of All Time. To recap, they were: Ridley Scott, Michael Mann, David Lean, Darren Aronofsky, Mike Nichols, David Lynch, Quentin Tarantino, Woody Allen, Martin Scorsese, and Alfred Hitchcock. And by “stirred some folks up,” I mean faced down a virtual lynch mob. Who knew that Aronofsky supporters were fans of the film Fury?

A few quick items in response to that piece. First, it was not about “bad directors” (although some were plain bad, including Aronofsky), but about overrated directors. Alfred Hitchcock is nowhere near the worst director ever (I was probably too harsh to label him “slightly better than mediocre”), but it is a travesty to label him the greatest director of all time, as so many have. The same holds true for David Lean (I appreciate Great Expectations, Brief Encounter, and swaths of Bridge Over the River Kwai, I just think he doesn’t deserve to make the top 20 list). Second, I neglected three directors who clearly should have made the list: Roman Polanski (somebody stop the Chinatown cult!), Spike Lee (how can he make race relations this dull?), and Tim Burton (damn you for ruining Sweeney Todd). Third, two corrections:
(1) Rebecca and Suspicion are the same film, not Notorious and Rebecca; (2) the Orlando Bloom reference was to Black Hawk Down, not G.I. Jane, and I apologize for the obvious mix-up.
Now, to the real question: the top-ten greatest directors of all time. This is truly a rough decision – there are at least two score great directors who could make this list. Here is my one basic criteria: directors who provide me the most viewing pleasure over the course of their career. That means telling a great story in the best possible way. Subjective? Sure. Deal with it. I’ll admit that this list skews toward older directors, not because older movies are generally better than newer movies (though I think they are), but because directors in the period 1920-1960 generally made more movies, which means more opportunities for directors to shine.
I’ll start by explaining why certain directors are not in the top ten.

Francis Ford Coppola: He had a period of unbelievable creative magic. Within a ten year period, he made Finian’s Rainbow (1968), a charming musical; The Godfather (1972), which requires no commentary; The Conversation (1974), perhaps the creepiest movie ever made; The Godfather: Part II (1974), which matches its predecessor in quality; and Apocalypse Now (1979), a mad journey into the heart of darkness. Then he was done. How this talented filmmaker went from The Godfather to the atrocity that was Jack (1996) is utterly bewildering. It was tough to keep him off the top ten list. It was even harder to boot someone from that list to make room for him.
Peter Jackson: I believe Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy to be the finest directorial effort of all time, surpassing even Citizen Kane. That said, Jackson hasn’t done anything else. King Kong was overlong and CGI-obsessed. He has shown that he can produce with the best of them – District 9 is brilliant – but he needs to direct more great movies before he belongs in the top ten.
Christopher Nolan: I believe Nolan will one day make the top-ten list. He’s that talented. Watch one of his early efforts, Following (1998) if you don’t believe me – on a budget of $6,000, he creates a taut thriller. His last five movies have all been terrific: Memento, Insomnia, Batman Begins, The Prestige, and The Dark Knight. He is one of the few modern directors for whom I check the IMDB calendar to see when his next movie comes out. I look forward to Inception with bated breath. For now, however, it’s too early to chart his trajectory with certainty.
Orson Welles: Citizen Kane requires no explication – it is justifiably seen by many as the greatest directorial job ever. His Othello is similarly creative and inspired. The Magnificent Ambersons follows the pattern. But Welles destroyed himself and his career, and the fates should never forgive him for wasting his unparalleled talent.
Peter Weir: I love Weir. He is always creative and interesting. Although I didn’t enjoy Master and Commander as much as others, The Truman Show, Fearless, and Gallipoli are all minor masterpieces. As far as the top ten, my heart says maybe, my brain says no.

Stanley Kubrick: Overrated. Yes, he directed the wonderful Paths of Glory, Spartacus, and Dr. Strangelove, but 2001: A Space Odyssey is an abomination, A Clockwork Orange doesn’t hold up, The Shining is made a parody by Jack Nicholson’s scenery-chewing. He’s inconsistent, and that’s what knocks him off the list, as it should.
Vincente Minnelli: The best director of musicals of all time came close to making the list, too. Meet Me in St. Louis is delightful. An American in Paris is a joy for the senses. The Band Wagon is the best parody of Broadway ever made; Brigadoon is pretty if unfaithful to the source material (they cut a couple of the best songs from the Broadway version); Gigi is gorgeous; Lust for Life is well-done. Few directors have Minneli’s grasp of the music that film can be, the vibrancy that film can create. Again, this is just a case of ten being too few to fit him.
Fritz Lang: M is the best foreign language film ever made. Period. It is tight and tense and incredibly driving. Metropolis is fantastic too. Perhaps if I’d seen more Lang, I’d put him up in the top ten (the only other films I’ve seen of his are Fury and The Big Heat), so I’ll claim ignorance here.
Fred Zinneman: Perhaps the best conventional director of all time – a man who simply puts on camera what needs to be there. He’s not the artist that any of the top ten are, but he did create The Day of the Jackal, A Man for All Seasons, Oklahoma!, From Here to Eternity, and High Noon, a list to be reckoned with.
Victor Fleming: How hard was it to come up with this list? I had to leave off the guy who directed Captains Courageous, The Good Earth, The Wizard of Oz, some of Gone with the Wind, A Guy Named Joe, and Treasure Island. He also directed lots of films that ain’t quite as great, so his percentage is what keeps him off the list.
Stanley Donen: Stylistically, Donen was tops. He directed On the Town, Singin’ in the Rain, Charade, Damn Yankees!, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, and Two for the Road. The pure fun that is Seven Brides could put him on the top ten list. But Donen just can’t knock anyone else off.
Robert Rossen: His resume is simply too short. Three fantastic movies: Body and Soul, All the King’s Men, The Hustler. A great career. Not a top ten one.

John Huston: The best adventure director of all time, responsible for The Man Who Would Be King, Moby Dick, The African Queen, and The Maltese Falcon. Again, not enough versatility to put him over the top.
George Stevens: Tough to keep off the list, tough to make room. The Diary of Anne Frank, Shane, A Place in the Sun, I Remember Mama, Gunga Din – versatility, certainly, brilliance, certainly, sweetness, certainly. Off the list? Hesitantly, yes.
The Top Ten Greatest Directors of All Time
10. Steven Spielberg: This will be the most controversial pick on the list, to be sure. He’s got big hits, and he’s got big misses. His hits are clearly terrific – Raiders of the Lost Ark, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Schindler’s List, Jaws, Saving Private Ryan. His misses are pure awfulness – A.I., 1941, The Terminal, and the misery that was Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Of late, far more misses than hits. Still, that early canon of films, plus Schindler’s and Saving Private Ryan puts him over the top. No better popcorn filmmaker has ever been born. Yes, I hate his politics. But his artistry, when he’s at the top of his game and when he’s comfortable with the script, is unmistakable. Watch this scene again:

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Nobody – nobody – directs action better. And Schindler’s List proved he can do drama, too. Is he the deepest guy on the list? Nope. Does he belong here? I say, yes.
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9. Michael Curtiz: How can I possibly put the man who directed the monstrous farce that is Mission to Moscow on this list? Because he also directed Casablanca, the best movie of all time; White Christmas and Yankee Doodle Dandy, two of the best musicals; The Adventures of Robin Hood, one of the best adventure movies; Mildred Pierce, one of the best melodramas. Other films: The Sea Wolf, Angels with Dirty Faces, and Captain Blood. Renting his film canon, Mission to Moscow aside, is almost entirely wonderful.
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8. Ingmar Bergman: No one made images like Bergman. The Seventh Seal is easily the darkest movie ever made, and it’s got some of the most stirring pictures ever put on screen. His version of The Magic Flute is a delight. Then there are his others, like Fanny and Alexander, Through a Glass Darkly, The Virgin Spring. Do you watch Bergman for a laugh? Not unless by laughter you mean suicidal depression. But no finer image-maker has ever stood behind a camera.
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7. Billy Wilder: Nobody ever mixed drama and comedy like Wilder. And he was a master at getting great performances from his actors. Jack Lemmon was his muse, and he used him to the fullest: he made the ultimate Matthau/Lemmon comedy in The Fortune Cookie, the ultimate Lemmon comedy, Some Like It Hot, and the beautifully understated The Apartment. If Lemmon wasn’t his muse, William Holden was – and he’s got masterpieces like Sunset Blvd. and Stalag 17 to prove it. Or maybe it was Audrey Hepburn – Sabrina, and Love in the Afternoon. And that isn’t even looking at Witness for the Prosecution and Double Indemnity. The guy was a classics factory. And all of them are fast-moving and fun to watch.
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6. Charlie Chaplin: It would be a crime to leave Chaplin off this list. Watch him toss around the globe as Hitler in The Great Dictator and tell me who you’d put in his place. The Kid is as affecting as any movie ever made. Modern Times is chock full of amazing sequences, and so are Modern Times, The Gold Rush, and many of his others. The silent movie era was never so magnificent.
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5. Frank Capra: In my review of the top ten most overrated directors of all time, I wrote this about Martin Scorsese: “In the musical Damn Yankees, a group of hapless baseball players sing the following lyric: ‘You’ve gotta have heart / All you really need is heart!’ Martin Scorsese never saw that musical. His films are entirely devoid of anything resembling likable characters. They are cold and calculating and ruthless – and boring.” If Scorsese is the epitome of the heartless director, Capra is the embodiment of heart on screen. It’s a Wonderful Life is simply the most heartfelt movie ever made (and it’s Jimmy Stewart’s best performance). From It Happened One Night to Mr. Smith Goes to Washington to Meet John Doe to Mr. Deeds Goes to Town, nobody made movie magic like Capra. If you can sit through all his films without crying and smiling simultaneously, I’m betting there’s something wrong with your tear ducts or your cheek muscles.
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4. Elia Kazan: Reviled by the Hollywood left, Kazan was also one of Hollywood’s greatest directors. His IMDB reads like a top ten list of films: A Face in the Crowd, East of Eden, On the Waterfront, Viva Zapata!, A Streetcar Named Desire, Gentleman’s Agreement, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. The performances Kazan elicited from his actors are groundbreaking and astonishing. Unlike some others on this list, Kazan’s films do not date (other than Gentleman’s Agreement, perhaps) – they remain timely and prescient. And they’re quick-moving and entertaining, which is tough to do with heavy drama. He does it with ease.
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3. John Ford: The man revolutionized movie making, and is worshipped widely for all the right reasons. First off, the Western is the American genre, and Ford was the best. Name the best Westerns of all time, and you’ll be sure to come up with Stagecoach, The Searchers, She Wore a Yellow Ribbon and The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. The Informer is an early masterpiece, and there’s no movie more fun than The Quiet Man (plus, the cinematography is enough to bring a tear to your eye). Mister Roberts is a chock full of great performances (Lemmon and Cagney stand out, of course). How Green Was My Valley is a beautiful film. The Grapes of Wrath and Young Mr. Lincoln are rightly credited with making Henry Fonda the quintessential American actor.
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2. Akira Kurosawa: Nobody plumbed the depths of human emotion like Kurosawa. Ikiru is known by few outside the film buff community, but it is a masterful expression of human hope and tragedy. Ran is exciting and thrilling and brilliant. Throne of Blood is a wonderful adaptation of Macbeth. The Seven Samurai is tremendous, an adventurous expose of the best and worst mankind has to offer. Rashomon is a groundbreaking exploration of perspective. I could keep going, but there’s no point – few will argue with Kurosawa’s placement on this list.
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1. William Wyler: Underrated beyond all rationality, Wyler was a master of all genres. He covered gothic romance (Wuthering Heights), period pieces (Jezebel) light comedy (How to Steal a Million and Roman Holiday), film noir (The Desperate Hours and Detective Story), epic (Ben Hur), morality tale (Friendly Persuasion), horror (The Collector), western (The Westerner) and wartime drama (Mrs. Miniver and The Best Years of Our Lives). His first tier films are unmatched (Dodsworth, Ben Hur, and The Best Years of Our Lives deserve to make anyone’s top ten list), and his second tier films (The Big Country, The Heiress) are better than most first-rate directors’ first-tier films. If you don’t believe Wyler’s range, watch these three scenes back to back:

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That’s not even the best scene from The Best Years of Our Lives (the movie contains perhaps the most beautiful love scene in screen history, between Harold Russell and Cathy O’Donnell – and, in a lesson to Aronofsky and Lynch, he didn’t need to show T&A to do it).
Whom would you put on the list?

6 habits that keep couples happy
How is it that some couples seem to stay starry-eyed for years, and others let their sizzle, um… fizzle? Well, it appears that successful chemistry sustainers develop healthy coupled-up habits which allow them to keep their love alive and kicking. “People can have a lot of trouble staying close,” says Joyce Catlett, coauthor of Fear of Intimacy. “They get into relationships and think they’re automatically going to know how to make everything work, but figuring out how to stay passionate together is really a skill.” Luckily, they’re skills that anyone can learn. Here are six habits that you’d do well to adopt if you want your date to become your happily-ever-after mate.

Habit #1: Catch romance where you can
“You may start out with chocolates and roses, but the likelihood of being able to sustain that feeling with a busy schedule is pretty unlikely,” says JoAnn Magdoff, Ph.D., a New York City-based psychotherapist. Successful couples learn to build a bubble of romance at unexpected times — during their daily commute, while doing laundry — and in low-impact ways, whether that be a long, lingering smooch or just holding hands. In other words, the next time you hear yourself say “Oh, look, we’ve got 15 minutes to ourselves,” make use of it — that’s what keeps the spark alive.

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Habit #2: Fight fair
Believe it or not, learning to fight right is an important part of keeping chemistry alive. Why? Because if you are constantly cutting each other down, it’s hard to feel mutually amorous. “There is no such thing as a relationship without disagreements,” says David Wygant, author of Always Talk to Strangers. “But if there is an understanding that your partner can come to you with any dissension without being attacked, you will have an honest relationship comprised of ‘open discussions’ rather than ‘fights.’” Debra Tobias, who has been happily married for almost 10 years to her husband Steve, agrees. “Steve and I have learned to listen to each other when we’re upset and we admit when we’re wrong,” says Tobias. “We also make a rule of never, ever saying ‘I told you so’ no matter how much we might want to say it.” The result is that their chemistry doesn’t wane because they never let their arguments escalate to a personal level. Focus on the issue at hand instead of throwing verbal punches.

Habit #3: Nurture your separate selves
Going off to your book club when your sweetie’s out golfing isn’t a sign you two are drifting apart. On the contrary, developing individual interests allows for a richer life as a couple. By taking little “couple breaks,” you gain a greater appreciation of the gifts your partner brings to your life and you have more to offer as well. “It’s very attractive to be independent sometimes,” says Magdoff. “You feel better about yourself and you’re less demanding of your partner when you’re together.” After all, taking some personal responsibility for your own well-being relieves the other person of the pressure to “provide” happiness — so go ahead and nurture some solo adventures. That’ll also keep each of you stocked with plenty of adventures to chat about, which also builds your bond.

Habit #4: Take on a project together
Separate interests aside, exploring new ground together is also important since it strengthens your history of shared experiences. Jo Smith and her husband of four years found this out when they committed to running their first 10K together. “We were training together, carbo-loading and hydrating together, running the race together and ultimately succeeding together when we both finished,” says Smith. “It brought a whole new level of closeness to our relationship because of the time we spent learning as a duo during this endeavor.” Couples who take on adventures together get a sense of daring and accomplishment that can really kick up their chemistry!

Habit #5: Don’t let your physical attraction for each other dwindle
No doubt about it, couples with healthy libidos have no problem keeping chemistry cooking. (That whole “couples’ desire for each other naturally fades over time” excuse? Not true.) The trick to injecting more electricity into a lagging love life has to do with trying new things — sure, it can be easy to work on tricks and techniques when you first meet, but people’s preferences can, and do, change over time. “In interviewing people on the topic of physical intimacy, it became clear that the couples who were the most satisfied were also the ones who were open to some experimentation,” says Catlett. This isn’t to say you suddenly have to become a wild thing, though. Even returning to the basics you may have abandoned along the way — lots of kissing and eye contact, for example — can make the usual encounter feel very different… and much more intimate.

Habit #6: Engage in some mutual admiration
In order for chemistry between two people to thrive, there needs to be mutual respect. “It’s about putting yourself in the role of an observer of your partner,” says Magdoff. “Watch them ‘perform’ — I’m not saying they need to do a song and dance for you — just pay attention to the everyday things that remind you why you find them so special.” Then, make it a point to lob compliments their way. “A good exercise is to occasionally create a mental list of the qualities you dig about your partner, and to occasionally share one of your thoughts with the one you love,” says Wygant. Because the reality is, you’ll always want to be around someone who thinks you’re fantastic.

8. Hold hands- it may seem insignificant; however, this small but intimate gesture shows that you care about each other even when you are doing something simple like walking from the car to the grocery store.

9. Give praise-telling your significant other that they are great at something can be a huge ego boost. It shows that you care and that you pay attention and like the way he/she does something. It's always nice to know that your spouse appreciates the things you do and the way you do them.

10. Be thankful-a simple thank you for taking the trash out, taking the kids to school, fixing that faucet or simply being a great spouse goes a long way. Letting someone know that you are thankful for what they do means a lot.

11. Have time apart-couples don't need to spend 24/7 together. Spending time away with the girls or the guys makes you appreciate one another. Have your own lives apart from one another. Schedule dinners or mini vacations if you can to keep up with friends.

12. Don't always nag-if you start nagging too much you will create resentment. Reminding someone of something a few times is one thing but becoming obnoxious about it will produce hostility and that's not the outcome that you are looking for. Take a different approach, ask nicely, explain what you need done and by when. The nicer you are the better.

13. Share advice-you never know when great, unexpected advice can come about. My husband and I work in two totally different professions yet we manage to swap advice on work all the time. The advice does not have to be work related, it can be about the kids, the chores, money management, it doesn't matter, be open to sharing different ideas.

14. Pick and choose your battles-Over the years I have learned that life is short and arguments are lame. Now I only get mad at things that I feel are truly important. I've learned to pick and choose my battles. Everyone will have that one battle that they choose to fight, just choose it carefully. Just think "is this really worth getting mad about? Will I still be mad about it this tomorrow morning? Will I even remember this next week?" Most of the time the answer is no. I've learned that this approach makes for a healthier and happier relationship and definitely causes less stress.

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14 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Happy

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* by HybridMom, on Wed Sep 29, 2010 12:25pm PDT

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It's amazing that the divorce rate in the United States is estimated at 50%. It's actually pretty sad too. People are so quick to just exit out of a relationship without even trying. But here's a theory - how about learning to keep things happy before problems arise, learning small everyday things that can keep little stresses away? Isn't that a novel idea? I thought so, which is why I created this list of items that have helped me personally. I'm not saying that I have the fairytale relationship but after 13 years I have learned that the small yet simple gestures seem work well.

1. Communicate-not just about your feelings- but about your day. Share stories with one another about what is going on at work or in a friend's life; share what you saw on the news or in a magazine with your significant other if you found it interesting. Discussing regular day to day occurrences is just as important as staying in tune with each others' feelings. It keeps you in tune with your spouse on a daily basis.

2. Take showers together- it doesn't have to be sexual! My husband and I have done this from the beginning of our relationship, did it start out sexual? Probably. But over time it became an intimate thing, just extra time that we can spend together catching up on the day- it just happens that we are naked and in the shower!

3. Go to the park and swing, slide or just play-it's a young and fun thing to do. It keeps you playful and is a great way to relieve stress. Real life can get so with overwhelming with work, kids, bills, laundry, chores- sometimes a play break is what's needed to alleviate all of that, even if it's only for half an hour.

4. Take walks-morning walks are a great way to start your day, not a morning person? Take an evening walk. Getting fresh air and exercise together is good for your health and the health of your relationship. Walking relieves stress, keeps you fit and allows quality time to be spent together.

5. Date nights-put everything on hold for an hour or two and plan on just doing something alone with your spouse. It can be dinner, a walk, the mall, whatever, just make the time for just the two of you with no one else around, catch up on your day or week or just joke around and have fun. But making time for just the two of you is important.

6. Play video games or wrestle-a healthy dose of competition is always good and it can be an entertaining way to not only have fun but a great stress buster as well. Just don't take it too seriously and be a sore loser because that would defeat the whole purpose.

7. Have sex-even if you don't want to, you need to keep the sexual chemistry between you and your significant other alive. Being intimate and showing your love for one another is a significant part of your union

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The 30 simple things women really want Buzz Up Share
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IT'S THE million dollar question - what do women really want? In a new book, psychologist Paco Underhill examines this very topic. MAIL TODAY took some inspiration from the book and asked women in Delhi about the simple things that can make them happy.

1. An automatic fat elimination process in the body.

"If scientists can discover superbugs and name them after good old Delhi, they can surely find the bug that can automatically eliminate all the fat the moment I bite into a burger with extra cheese," says Neha Rameja, 25, a marketing professional.

2. Husbands to be a little more appreciative of our cooking.

Please grow up guys, not everyone can cook like your mom - she spent 40 years in the kitchen. Can't you give us some more time?

3. A maid with a silencer attached.

Available 24x7, this wonder maid should keep her mouth shut and work for nothing. This is what men call a wife. "It is amazing how all the Ramu kaka s in movies are so obedient and pampering - too bad they don't exist in real life," says Sharada Ramakrishnan, 26, a software professional.

4. A man.

It is not too difficult to get one - but if you want one with the following features, you may have to look for him on another galaxy. "He should love you like you are the last woman in the universe. He should multitask, be amazing in bed and know exactly what we want," says Moushumi Gongopadhyay, a corporate trainer.

Nidhi Batra, brand manager at a food retail chain adds: "They should be there only when we need them because they can't stop nagging at times.

5. Not to be asked 'Where's my wallet/ glasses/ car keys/ handkerchief?' every single morning by the other half.

It is because of things like these that women sometimes wish they had a punching bag! Can men ever learn to take care of their precious belongings (no puns intended)?

6. Zero-calorie versions of hot chocolate fudge, chocolate truffle cake, and everything else in chocolate.

We'd love to live on pure junk food - potato chips, cheesy pizzas, fried chicken - on a regular basis without feeling guilty about it.

7. Holidays that give us the chance to read just one book, without being interrupted with 'I am HUNGRY, Mom?' or 'I am BORED' every few minutes.

"I have not read one good book since I gave birth to my precious little," says Malavika Datta, teacher and mother to an eight-year-old girl.

8. A body of our choice.

It could be Angelina Jolie's one month or J Lo's the next, depending on the kind of look we take a fancy to.

9. A long, hot bath with a glass of wine and aromatic candles all around and a scenic view from the bathroom.

No one knocking at the bathroom door, no barging in.

10. A decent home-cooked dinner prepared by our better halves.

When we are too exhausted to cook, men should chip in and prepare a meal for us and clean up the kitchen for a change. Note: Maggi is excluded from the list.

11. To be able to admire the dishy buttocks and the smooth skin of a younger man without feeling terrified when we realise we could be old enough to be his mother.

Just appreciating a hot bod doesn't mean we are cougars.

12. No backseat driving please.

We love the idea of long drives but constant criticism of our driving skills really puts us off. "If men have a problem with our driving, why can't they get us a dishy chauffeur or a car that drives by itself," says Rameja. Women can drive and that's the reason why the government decided to give them a driver's license.

13. No backbiting, tutting or arched eyebrows from male colleagues when we have to dash off from work to pick up a sick child.

It is a genuine problem, we would never go out shopping on the pretext of our child falling sick.

14. One fruitful, decent conversation with our husbands at least once a day.

Communication is the key to a successful relationship but competing with the latest man gadget - whether an iPhone or iPad – really gets on one's nerves.

15. To go out on the roads of Delhi and know we won't be stared at or eve-teased or mugged; to talk to the bankers without being asked 'Can we talk to your husband?'.

It is a man's world, we agree, but people should consider the fact that we might, just might, bring in half the household income, if not more. We do wish at times that we are spoken eye to eye rather than eye to breast.

16. Meaningful, loving sex, with a long, endless foreplay, preceded and followed by candlelight conversations, cuddles, chocolates and kisses.

It sounds cliched but women love cliches and have all the right to get a little selfish in bed once in a while. PS: A quickie will do only if we have to get up earlier than usual.

17. Endearing and well-thought out surprises.

Women love surprises and it is high time men understood this. We don't want diamond rings. An empty laundry basket, a bottle of that Sauvignon Blanc, possession of the TV remote for a whole evening, and a day to be spent exactly as we wish - just once in a blue moon.

18. A wardrobe that refreshes itself after every six months, says Rameja. "Who wants to wear something that is oh-so-last-season?" she asks. True. Everyone wants new clothes that can suit every occasion. But on the contrary we end up with a pile of not just last season’s clothes, but last decade's. It makes us feel dull as dishwater.

19. Good obedient children who are loving and appreciative, who don't treat their mothers as slaves. Can't children go to bed with a smile on their faces rather than crying at the injustice of their mothers? We've read 100 parenting books, for goodness sake. None of them seem to be working on our children.

20 Bras that fit.

We wonder why it is so difficult for us to get bras that are of the right size. Fancy, lacy, sexy bras that lift our cleavage and our moods would do wonders for sure. We hate it when someone points out bra straps peeping out of our sleeves.

21. Unlimited free local and international calls and a cell phone that upgrades itself every six months.

Women TALK and who wouldn't want to talk in style. But the exorbitant bills are a pain in the neck.

22. A high paying, stress-free, enjoyable and a satisfying job that needs the least amount of work.

"One can go off on vacations every two weeks," says Ramakrishnan. "And of course, I should be the boss," she adds.

23. A bed meant for a princess/ queen and for a change readied by the man of the house.

Huge fluffed-up pillows and a luxurious duvet that is changed regularly. Have men wondered why we don't want to spend time in bed?

24. Silver and bronze artefacts that never go dull... never a layer of dust anywhere, even after a dust storm. And white linen, upholstery and tapestry that never get dirty.

25. A day at the spa.

We need at least one day in a month at the spa, getting pampered without worrying about the fat bill we have to pay at the end of the day, says Ramakrishnan.

26. Lifelong supply of matching footwear, bags and watches.

It is a headache to get accessories that go with all our dresses. "Wouldn't it be great if our accessories changed colours according to the dresses we wear?" asks Gongopadhyay.

27. A Saturday night out dining with friends or at the movies rather than ending up watching television at home because the husband is busy at work. That would be the perfect way to end the week.

28. Jam free/clutter-free roads where we can drive without hearing swear words being used freely. Or else, be prepared for us to retort in similar fashion.

29. Pay our bills whenever we want to.

We hate being bugged by banks, and mobile phone service providers. We know we have to pay our bills and we are not running away with your money. "I wonder why these people don't go after the guys who give fake addresses and don't pay their bills regularly. We are law abiding women and we will give them their money when we have it," says Batra.

30. A clean home.

When a woman goes out for the day and leaves her husband in charge of the kids, she does not want to come back and see the children hungry and awake, tomato ketchup stains on the bed and messy bottles in the kitchen (including beer bottles). She wants the tables cleared of dirty dishes and no piles of dirty clothes on the floor.

A woman can always dream, can't she?

anindita.choudhury@ mailtoday. in With inputs from Daily Mail Reproduced From Mail Today. Copyright 2009. MTNPL. All rights