The Top Ten Greatest Directors of All Time
by Ben Shapiro
Last week, I stirred some folks up with my Top Ten Most Overrated Directors of All Time. To recap, they were: Ridley Scott, Michael Mann, David Lean, Darren Aronofsky, Mike Nichols, David Lynch, Quentin Tarantino, Woody Allen, Martin Scorsese, and Alfred Hitchcock. And by “stirred some folks up,” I mean faced down a virtual lynch mob. Who knew that Aronofsky supporters were fans of the film Fury?

A few quick items in response to that piece. First, it was not about “bad directors” (although some were plain bad, including Aronofsky), but about overrated directors. Alfred Hitchcock is nowhere near the worst director ever (I was probably too harsh to label him “slightly better than mediocre”), but it is a travesty to label him the greatest director of all time, as so many have. The same holds true for David Lean (I appreciate Great Expectations, Brief Encounter, and swaths of Bridge Over the River Kwai, I just think he doesn’t deserve to make the top 20 list). Second, I neglected three directors who clearly should have made the list: Roman Polanski (somebody stop the Chinatown cult!), Spike Lee (how can he make race relations this dull?), and Tim Burton (damn you for ruining Sweeney Todd). Third, two corrections:
(1) Rebecca and Suspicion are the same film, not Notorious and Rebecca; (2) the Orlando Bloom reference was to Black Hawk Down, not G.I. Jane, and I apologize for the obvious mix-up.
Now, to the real question: the top-ten greatest directors of all time. This is truly a rough decision – there are at least two score great directors who could make this list. Here is my one basic criteria: directors who provide me the most viewing pleasure over the course of their career. That means telling a great story in the best possible way. Subjective? Sure. Deal with it. I’ll admit that this list skews toward older directors, not because older movies are generally better than newer movies (though I think they are), but because directors in the period 1920-1960 generally made more movies, which means more opportunities for directors to shine.
I’ll start by explaining why certain directors are not in the top ten.

Francis Ford Coppola: He had a period of unbelievable creative magic. Within a ten year period, he made Finian’s Rainbow (1968), a charming musical; The Godfather (1972), which requires no commentary; The Conversation (1974), perhaps the creepiest movie ever made; The Godfather: Part II (1974), which matches its predecessor in quality; and Apocalypse Now (1979), a mad journey into the heart of darkness. Then he was done. How this talented filmmaker went from The Godfather to the atrocity that was Jack (1996) is utterly bewildering. It was tough to keep him off the top ten list. It was even harder to boot someone from that list to make room for him.
Peter Jackson: I believe Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy to be the finest directorial effort of all time, surpassing even Citizen Kane. That said, Jackson hasn’t done anything else. King Kong was overlong and CGI-obsessed. He has shown that he can produce with the best of them – District 9 is brilliant – but he needs to direct more great movies before he belongs in the top ten.
Christopher Nolan: I believe Nolan will one day make the top-ten list. He’s that talented. Watch one of his early efforts, Following (1998) if you don’t believe me – on a budget of $6,000, he creates a taut thriller. His last five movies have all been terrific: Memento, Insomnia, Batman Begins, The Prestige, and The Dark Knight. He is one of the few modern directors for whom I check the IMDB calendar to see when his next movie comes out. I look forward to Inception with bated breath. For now, however, it’s too early to chart his trajectory with certainty.
Orson Welles: Citizen Kane requires no explication – it is justifiably seen by many as the greatest directorial job ever. His Othello is similarly creative and inspired. The Magnificent Ambersons follows the pattern. But Welles destroyed himself and his career, and the fates should never forgive him for wasting his unparalleled talent.
Peter Weir: I love Weir. He is always creative and interesting. Although I didn’t enjoy Master and Commander as much as others, The Truman Show, Fearless, and Gallipoli are all minor masterpieces. As far as the top ten, my heart says maybe, my brain says no.

Stanley Kubrick: Overrated. Yes, he directed the wonderful Paths of Glory, Spartacus, and Dr. Strangelove, but 2001: A Space Odyssey is an abomination, A Clockwork Orange doesn’t hold up, The Shining is made a parody by Jack Nicholson’s scenery-chewing. He’s inconsistent, and that’s what knocks him off the list, as it should.
Vincente Minnelli: The best director of musicals of all time came close to making the list, too. Meet Me in St. Louis is delightful. An American in Paris is a joy for the senses. The Band Wagon is the best parody of Broadway ever made; Brigadoon is pretty if unfaithful to the source material (they cut a couple of the best songs from the Broadway version); Gigi is gorgeous; Lust for Life is well-done. Few directors have Minneli’s grasp of the music that film can be, the vibrancy that film can create. Again, this is just a case of ten being too few to fit him.
Fritz Lang: M is the best foreign language film ever made. Period. It is tight and tense and incredibly driving. Metropolis is fantastic too. Perhaps if I’d seen more Lang, I’d put him up in the top ten (the only other films I’ve seen of his are Fury and The Big Heat), so I’ll claim ignorance here.
Fred Zinneman: Perhaps the best conventional director of all time – a man who simply puts on camera what needs to be there. He’s not the artist that any of the top ten are, but he did create The Day of the Jackal, A Man for All Seasons, Oklahoma!, From Here to Eternity, and High Noon, a list to be reckoned with.
Victor Fleming: How hard was it to come up with this list? I had to leave off the guy who directed Captains Courageous, The Good Earth, The Wizard of Oz, some of Gone with the Wind, A Guy Named Joe, and Treasure Island. He also directed lots of films that ain’t quite as great, so his percentage is what keeps him off the list.
Stanley Donen: Stylistically, Donen was tops. He directed On the Town, Singin’ in the Rain, Charade, Damn Yankees!, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, and Two for the Road. The pure fun that is Seven Brides could put him on the top ten list. But Donen just can’t knock anyone else off.
Robert Rossen: His resume is simply too short. Three fantastic movies: Body and Soul, All the King’s Men, The Hustler. A great career. Not a top ten one.

John Huston: The best adventure director of all time, responsible for The Man Who Would Be King, Moby Dick, The African Queen, and The Maltese Falcon. Again, not enough versatility to put him over the top.
George Stevens: Tough to keep off the list, tough to make room. The Diary of Anne Frank, Shane, A Place in the Sun, I Remember Mama, Gunga Din – versatility, certainly, brilliance, certainly, sweetness, certainly. Off the list? Hesitantly, yes.
The Top Ten Greatest Directors of All Time
10. Steven Spielberg: This will be the most controversial pick on the list, to be sure. He’s got big hits, and he’s got big misses. His hits are clearly terrific – Raiders of the Lost Ark, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Schindler’s List, Jaws, Saving Private Ryan. His misses are pure awfulness – A.I., 1941, The Terminal, and the misery that was Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Of late, far more misses than hits. Still, that early canon of films, plus Schindler’s and Saving Private Ryan puts him over the top. No better popcorn filmmaker has ever been born. Yes, I hate his politics. But his artistry, when he’s at the top of his game and when he’s comfortable with the script, is unmistakable. Watch this scene again:

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Nobody – nobody – directs action better. And Schindler’s List proved he can do drama, too. Is he the deepest guy on the list? Nope. Does he belong here? I say, yes.
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9. Michael Curtiz: How can I possibly put the man who directed the monstrous farce that is Mission to Moscow on this list? Because he also directed Casablanca, the best movie of all time; White Christmas and Yankee Doodle Dandy, two of the best musicals; The Adventures of Robin Hood, one of the best adventure movies; Mildred Pierce, one of the best melodramas. Other films: The Sea Wolf, Angels with Dirty Faces, and Captain Blood. Renting his film canon, Mission to Moscow aside, is almost entirely wonderful.
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8. Ingmar Bergman: No one made images like Bergman. The Seventh Seal is easily the darkest movie ever made, and it’s got some of the most stirring pictures ever put on screen. His version of The Magic Flute is a delight. Then there are his others, like Fanny and Alexander, Through a Glass Darkly, The Virgin Spring. Do you watch Bergman for a laugh? Not unless by laughter you mean suicidal depression. But no finer image-maker has ever stood behind a camera.
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7. Billy Wilder: Nobody ever mixed drama and comedy like Wilder. And he was a master at getting great performances from his actors. Jack Lemmon was his muse, and he used him to the fullest: he made the ultimate Matthau/Lemmon comedy in The Fortune Cookie, the ultimate Lemmon comedy, Some Like It Hot, and the beautifully understated The Apartment. If Lemmon wasn’t his muse, William Holden was – and he’s got masterpieces like Sunset Blvd. and Stalag 17 to prove it. Or maybe it was Audrey Hepburn – Sabrina, and Love in the Afternoon. And that isn’t even looking at Witness for the Prosecution and Double Indemnity. The guy was a classics factory. And all of them are fast-moving and fun to watch.
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6. Charlie Chaplin: It would be a crime to leave Chaplin off this list. Watch him toss around the globe as Hitler in The Great Dictator and tell me who you’d put in his place. The Kid is as affecting as any movie ever made. Modern Times is chock full of amazing sequences, and so are Modern Times, The Gold Rush, and many of his others. The silent movie era was never so magnificent.
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5. Frank Capra: In my review of the top ten most overrated directors of all time, I wrote this about Martin Scorsese: “In the musical Damn Yankees, a group of hapless baseball players sing the following lyric: ‘You’ve gotta have heart / All you really need is heart!’ Martin Scorsese never saw that musical. His films are entirely devoid of anything resembling likable characters. They are cold and calculating and ruthless – and boring.” If Scorsese is the epitome of the heartless director, Capra is the embodiment of heart on screen. It’s a Wonderful Life is simply the most heartfelt movie ever made (and it’s Jimmy Stewart’s best performance). From It Happened One Night to Mr. Smith Goes to Washington to Meet John Doe to Mr. Deeds Goes to Town, nobody made movie magic like Capra. If you can sit through all his films without crying and smiling simultaneously, I’m betting there’s something wrong with your tear ducts or your cheek muscles.
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4. Elia Kazan: Reviled by the Hollywood left, Kazan was also one of Hollywood’s greatest directors. His IMDB reads like a top ten list of films: A Face in the Crowd, East of Eden, On the Waterfront, Viva Zapata!, A Streetcar Named Desire, Gentleman’s Agreement, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. The performances Kazan elicited from his actors are groundbreaking and astonishing. Unlike some others on this list, Kazan’s films do not date (other than Gentleman’s Agreement, perhaps) – they remain timely and prescient. And they’re quick-moving and entertaining, which is tough to do with heavy drama. He does it with ease.
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3. John Ford: The man revolutionized movie making, and is worshipped widely for all the right reasons. First off, the Western is the American genre, and Ford was the best. Name the best Westerns of all time, and you’ll be sure to come up with Stagecoach, The Searchers, She Wore a Yellow Ribbon and The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. The Informer is an early masterpiece, and there’s no movie more fun than The Quiet Man (plus, the cinematography is enough to bring a tear to your eye). Mister Roberts is a chock full of great performances (Lemmon and Cagney stand out, of course). How Green Was My Valley is a beautiful film. The Grapes of Wrath and Young Mr. Lincoln are rightly credited with making Henry Fonda the quintessential American actor.
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2. Akira Kurosawa: Nobody plumbed the depths of human emotion like Kurosawa. Ikiru is known by few outside the film buff community, but it is a masterful expression of human hope and tragedy. Ran is exciting and thrilling and brilliant. Throne of Blood is a wonderful adaptation of Macbeth. The Seven Samurai is tremendous, an adventurous expose of the best and worst mankind has to offer. Rashomon is a groundbreaking exploration of perspective. I could keep going, but there’s no point – few will argue with Kurosawa’s placement on this list.
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1. William Wyler: Underrated beyond all rationality, Wyler was a master of all genres. He covered gothic romance (Wuthering Heights), period pieces (Jezebel) light comedy (How to Steal a Million and Roman Holiday), film noir (The Desperate Hours and Detective Story), epic (Ben Hur), morality tale (Friendly Persuasion), horror (The Collector), western (The Westerner) and wartime drama (Mrs. Miniver and The Best Years of Our Lives). His first tier films are unmatched (Dodsworth, Ben Hur, and The Best Years of Our Lives deserve to make anyone’s top ten list), and his second tier films (The Big Country, The Heiress) are better than most first-rate directors’ first-tier films. If you don’t believe Wyler’s range, watch these three scenes back to back:

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That’s not even the best scene from The Best Years of Our Lives (the movie contains perhaps the most beautiful love scene in screen history, between Harold Russell and Cathy O’Donnell – and, in a lesson to Aronofsky and Lynch, he didn’t need to show T&A to do it).
Whom would you put on the list?

6 habits that keep couples happy
How is it that some couples seem to stay starry-eyed for years, and others let their sizzle, um… fizzle? Well, it appears that successful chemistry sustainers develop healthy coupled-up habits which allow them to keep their love alive and kicking. “People can have a lot of trouble staying close,” says Joyce Catlett, coauthor of Fear of Intimacy. “They get into relationships and think they’re automatically going to know how to make everything work, but figuring out how to stay passionate together is really a skill.” Luckily, they’re skills that anyone can learn. Here are six habits that you’d do well to adopt if you want your date to become your happily-ever-after mate.

Habit #1: Catch romance where you can
“You may start out with chocolates and roses, but the likelihood of being able to sustain that feeling with a busy schedule is pretty unlikely,” says JoAnn Magdoff, Ph.D., a New York City-based psychotherapist. Successful couples learn to build a bubble of romance at unexpected times — during their daily commute, while doing laundry — and in low-impact ways, whether that be a long, lingering smooch or just holding hands. In other words, the next time you hear yourself say “Oh, look, we’ve got 15 minutes to ourselves,” make use of it — that’s what keeps the spark alive.

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Habit #2: Fight fair
Believe it or not, learning to fight right is an important part of keeping chemistry alive. Why? Because if you are constantly cutting each other down, it’s hard to feel mutually amorous. “There is no such thing as a relationship without disagreements,” says David Wygant, author of Always Talk to Strangers. “But if there is an understanding that your partner can come to you with any dissension without being attacked, you will have an honest relationship comprised of ‘open discussions’ rather than ‘fights.’” Debra Tobias, who has been happily married for almost 10 years to her husband Steve, agrees. “Steve and I have learned to listen to each other when we’re upset and we admit when we’re wrong,” says Tobias. “We also make a rule of never, ever saying ‘I told you so’ no matter how much we might want to say it.” The result is that their chemistry doesn’t wane because they never let their arguments escalate to a personal level. Focus on the issue at hand instead of throwing verbal punches.

Habit #3: Nurture your separate selves
Going off to your book club when your sweetie’s out golfing isn’t a sign you two are drifting apart. On the contrary, developing individual interests allows for a richer life as a couple. By taking little “couple breaks,” you gain a greater appreciation of the gifts your partner brings to your life and you have more to offer as well. “It’s very attractive to be independent sometimes,” says Magdoff. “You feel better about yourself and you’re less demanding of your partner when you’re together.” After all, taking some personal responsibility for your own well-being relieves the other person of the pressure to “provide” happiness — so go ahead and nurture some solo adventures. That’ll also keep each of you stocked with plenty of adventures to chat about, which also builds your bond.

Habit #4: Take on a project together
Separate interests aside, exploring new ground together is also important since it strengthens your history of shared experiences. Jo Smith and her husband of four years found this out when they committed to running their first 10K together. “We were training together, carbo-loading and hydrating together, running the race together and ultimately succeeding together when we both finished,” says Smith. “It brought a whole new level of closeness to our relationship because of the time we spent learning as a duo during this endeavor.” Couples who take on adventures together get a sense of daring and accomplishment that can really kick up their chemistry!

Habit #5: Don’t let your physical attraction for each other dwindle
No doubt about it, couples with healthy libidos have no problem keeping chemistry cooking. (That whole “couples’ desire for each other naturally fades over time” excuse? Not true.) The trick to injecting more electricity into a lagging love life has to do with trying new things — sure, it can be easy to work on tricks and techniques when you first meet, but people’s preferences can, and do, change over time. “In interviewing people on the topic of physical intimacy, it became clear that the couples who were the most satisfied were also the ones who were open to some experimentation,” says Catlett. This isn’t to say you suddenly have to become a wild thing, though. Even returning to the basics you may have abandoned along the way — lots of kissing and eye contact, for example — can make the usual encounter feel very different… and much more intimate.

Habit #6: Engage in some mutual admiration
In order for chemistry between two people to thrive, there needs to be mutual respect. “It’s about putting yourself in the role of an observer of your partner,” says Magdoff. “Watch them ‘perform’ — I’m not saying they need to do a song and dance for you — just pay attention to the everyday things that remind you why you find them so special.” Then, make it a point to lob compliments their way. “A good exercise is to occasionally create a mental list of the qualities you dig about your partner, and to occasionally share one of your thoughts with the one you love,” says Wygant. Because the reality is, you’ll always want to be around someone who thinks you’re fantastic.

8. Hold hands- it may seem insignificant; however, this small but intimate gesture shows that you care about each other even when you are doing something simple like walking from the car to the grocery store.

9. Give praise-telling your significant other that they are great at something can be a huge ego boost. It shows that you care and that you pay attention and like the way he/she does something. It's always nice to know that your spouse appreciates the things you do and the way you do them.

10. Be thankful-a simple thank you for taking the trash out, taking the kids to school, fixing that faucet or simply being a great spouse goes a long way. Letting someone know that you are thankful for what they do means a lot.

11. Have time apart-couples don't need to spend 24/7 together. Spending time away with the girls or the guys makes you appreciate one another. Have your own lives apart from one another. Schedule dinners or mini vacations if you can to keep up with friends.

12. Don't always nag-if you start nagging too much you will create resentment. Reminding someone of something a few times is one thing but becoming obnoxious about it will produce hostility and that's not the outcome that you are looking for. Take a different approach, ask nicely, explain what you need done and by when. The nicer you are the better.

13. Share advice-you never know when great, unexpected advice can come about. My husband and I work in two totally different professions yet we manage to swap advice on work all the time. The advice does not have to be work related, it can be about the kids, the chores, money management, it doesn't matter, be open to sharing different ideas.

14. Pick and choose your battles-Over the years I have learned that life is short and arguments are lame. Now I only get mad at things that I feel are truly important. I've learned to pick and choose my battles. Everyone will have that one battle that they choose to fight, just choose it carefully. Just think "is this really worth getting mad about? Will I still be mad about it this tomorrow morning? Will I even remember this next week?" Most of the time the answer is no. I've learned that this approach makes for a healthier and happier relationship and definitely causes less stress.

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14 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Happy

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* by HybridMom, on Wed Sep 29, 2010 12:25pm PDT

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It's amazing that the divorce rate in the United States is estimated at 50%. It's actually pretty sad too. People are so quick to just exit out of a relationship without even trying. But here's a theory - how about learning to keep things happy before problems arise, learning small everyday things that can keep little stresses away? Isn't that a novel idea? I thought so, which is why I created this list of items that have helped me personally. I'm not saying that I have the fairytale relationship but after 13 years I have learned that the small yet simple gestures seem work well.

1. Communicate-not just about your feelings- but about your day. Share stories with one another about what is going on at work or in a friend's life; share what you saw on the news or in a magazine with your significant other if you found it interesting. Discussing regular day to day occurrences is just as important as staying in tune with each others' feelings. It keeps you in tune with your spouse on a daily basis.

2. Take showers together- it doesn't have to be sexual! My husband and I have done this from the beginning of our relationship, did it start out sexual? Probably. But over time it became an intimate thing, just extra time that we can spend together catching up on the day- it just happens that we are naked and in the shower!

3. Go to the park and swing, slide or just play-it's a young and fun thing to do. It keeps you playful and is a great way to relieve stress. Real life can get so with overwhelming with work, kids, bills, laundry, chores- sometimes a play break is what's needed to alleviate all of that, even if it's only for half an hour.

4. Take walks-morning walks are a great way to start your day, not a morning person? Take an evening walk. Getting fresh air and exercise together is good for your health and the health of your relationship. Walking relieves stress, keeps you fit and allows quality time to be spent together.

5. Date nights-put everything on hold for an hour or two and plan on just doing something alone with your spouse. It can be dinner, a walk, the mall, whatever, just make the time for just the two of you with no one else around, catch up on your day or week or just joke around and have fun. But making time for just the two of you is important.

6. Play video games or wrestle-a healthy dose of competition is always good and it can be an entertaining way to not only have fun but a great stress buster as well. Just don't take it too seriously and be a sore loser because that would defeat the whole purpose.

7. Have sex-even if you don't want to, you need to keep the sexual chemistry between you and your significant other alive. Being intimate and showing your love for one another is a significant part of your union

jjj

The 30 simple things women really want Buzz Up Share
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IT'S THE million dollar question - what do women really want? In a new book, psychologist Paco Underhill examines this very topic. MAIL TODAY took some inspiration from the book and asked women in Delhi about the simple things that can make them happy.

1. An automatic fat elimination process in the body.

"If scientists can discover superbugs and name them after good old Delhi, they can surely find the bug that can automatically eliminate all the fat the moment I bite into a burger with extra cheese," says Neha Rameja, 25, a marketing professional.

2. Husbands to be a little more appreciative of our cooking.

Please grow up guys, not everyone can cook like your mom - she spent 40 years in the kitchen. Can't you give us some more time?

3. A maid with a silencer attached.

Available 24x7, this wonder maid should keep her mouth shut and work for nothing. This is what men call a wife. "It is amazing how all the Ramu kaka s in movies are so obedient and pampering - too bad they don't exist in real life," says Sharada Ramakrishnan, 26, a software professional.

4. A man.

It is not too difficult to get one - but if you want one with the following features, you may have to look for him on another galaxy. "He should love you like you are the last woman in the universe. He should multitask, be amazing in bed and know exactly what we want," says Moushumi Gongopadhyay, a corporate trainer.

Nidhi Batra, brand manager at a food retail chain adds: "They should be there only when we need them because they can't stop nagging at times.

5. Not to be asked 'Where's my wallet/ glasses/ car keys/ handkerchief?' every single morning by the other half.

It is because of things like these that women sometimes wish they had a punching bag! Can men ever learn to take care of their precious belongings (no puns intended)?

6. Zero-calorie versions of hot chocolate fudge, chocolate truffle cake, and everything else in chocolate.

We'd love to live on pure junk food - potato chips, cheesy pizzas, fried chicken - on a regular basis without feeling guilty about it.

7. Holidays that give us the chance to read just one book, without being interrupted with 'I am HUNGRY, Mom?' or 'I am BORED' every few minutes.

"I have not read one good book since I gave birth to my precious little," says Malavika Datta, teacher and mother to an eight-year-old girl.

8. A body of our choice.

It could be Angelina Jolie's one month or J Lo's the next, depending on the kind of look we take a fancy to.

9. A long, hot bath with a glass of wine and aromatic candles all around and a scenic view from the bathroom.

No one knocking at the bathroom door, no barging in.

10. A decent home-cooked dinner prepared by our better halves.

When we are too exhausted to cook, men should chip in and prepare a meal for us and clean up the kitchen for a change. Note: Maggi is excluded from the list.

11. To be able to admire the dishy buttocks and the smooth skin of a younger man without feeling terrified when we realise we could be old enough to be his mother.

Just appreciating a hot bod doesn't mean we are cougars.

12. No backseat driving please.

We love the idea of long drives but constant criticism of our driving skills really puts us off. "If men have a problem with our driving, why can't they get us a dishy chauffeur or a car that drives by itself," says Rameja. Women can drive and that's the reason why the government decided to give them a driver's license.

13. No backbiting, tutting or arched eyebrows from male colleagues when we have to dash off from work to pick up a sick child.

It is a genuine problem, we would never go out shopping on the pretext of our child falling sick.

14. One fruitful, decent conversation with our husbands at least once a day.

Communication is the key to a successful relationship but competing with the latest man gadget - whether an iPhone or iPad – really gets on one's nerves.

15. To go out on the roads of Delhi and know we won't be stared at or eve-teased or mugged; to talk to the bankers without being asked 'Can we talk to your husband?'.

It is a man's world, we agree, but people should consider the fact that we might, just might, bring in half the household income, if not more. We do wish at times that we are spoken eye to eye rather than eye to breast.

16. Meaningful, loving sex, with a long, endless foreplay, preceded and followed by candlelight conversations, cuddles, chocolates and kisses.

It sounds cliched but women love cliches and have all the right to get a little selfish in bed once in a while. PS: A quickie will do only if we have to get up earlier than usual.

17. Endearing and well-thought out surprises.

Women love surprises and it is high time men understood this. We don't want diamond rings. An empty laundry basket, a bottle of that Sauvignon Blanc, possession of the TV remote for a whole evening, and a day to be spent exactly as we wish - just once in a blue moon.

18. A wardrobe that refreshes itself after every six months, says Rameja. "Who wants to wear something that is oh-so-last-season?" she asks. True. Everyone wants new clothes that can suit every occasion. But on the contrary we end up with a pile of not just last season’s clothes, but last decade's. It makes us feel dull as dishwater.

19. Good obedient children who are loving and appreciative, who don't treat their mothers as slaves. Can't children go to bed with a smile on their faces rather than crying at the injustice of their mothers? We've read 100 parenting books, for goodness sake. None of them seem to be working on our children.

20 Bras that fit.

We wonder why it is so difficult for us to get bras that are of the right size. Fancy, lacy, sexy bras that lift our cleavage and our moods would do wonders for sure. We hate it when someone points out bra straps peeping out of our sleeves.

21. Unlimited free local and international calls and a cell phone that upgrades itself every six months.

Women TALK and who wouldn't want to talk in style. But the exorbitant bills are a pain in the neck.

22. A high paying, stress-free, enjoyable and a satisfying job that needs the least amount of work.

"One can go off on vacations every two weeks," says Ramakrishnan. "And of course, I should be the boss," she adds.

23. A bed meant for a princess/ queen and for a change readied by the man of the house.

Huge fluffed-up pillows and a luxurious duvet that is changed regularly. Have men wondered why we don't want to spend time in bed?

24. Silver and bronze artefacts that never go dull... never a layer of dust anywhere, even after a dust storm. And white linen, upholstery and tapestry that never get dirty.

25. A day at the spa.

We need at least one day in a month at the spa, getting pampered without worrying about the fat bill we have to pay at the end of the day, says Ramakrishnan.

26. Lifelong supply of matching footwear, bags and watches.

It is a headache to get accessories that go with all our dresses. "Wouldn't it be great if our accessories changed colours according to the dresses we wear?" asks Gongopadhyay.

27. A Saturday night out dining with friends or at the movies rather than ending up watching television at home because the husband is busy at work. That would be the perfect way to end the week.

28. Jam free/clutter-free roads where we can drive without hearing swear words being used freely. Or else, be prepared for us to retort in similar fashion.

29. Pay our bills whenever we want to.

We hate being bugged by banks, and mobile phone service providers. We know we have to pay our bills and we are not running away with your money. "I wonder why these people don't go after the guys who give fake addresses and don't pay their bills regularly. We are law abiding women and we will give them their money when we have it," says Batra.

30. A clean home.

When a woman goes out for the day and leaves her husband in charge of the kids, she does not want to come back and see the children hungry and awake, tomato ketchup stains on the bed and messy bottles in the kitchen (including beer bottles). She wants the tables cleared of dirty dishes and no piles of dirty clothes on the floor.

A woman can always dream, can't she?

anindita.choudhury@ mailtoday. in With inputs from Daily Mail Reproduced From Mail Today. Copyright 2009. MTNPL. All rights

Boban Ignatius
Peelianickal Champannoore House, Nedumanny Post, Kottayam District, Kerala

Tel: / 9947343085
Email: votican@yahoo.co.in / bosho.spiritualguru@gmail.com
www.bobanignatius.blogspot.com
working as a motivational speaker , management , spiritual and performance consultant .
Versatile Sales Professional with proven commercial, organizational and interpersonal skillsdeveloped in hugely professional environment.

Successful in sales tracking and performance improvement.

Professional History:

Universal Music India, Indian subsidiary entertaining millions with music.


Successfully managed second biggest account in Mumbai, Crossword; major Distributor, Samir Audio. Successfully improved performance in Gujrat . Outperformed the targets by 10 and 15 percent for two consecutive years.

Summer Internship at Union Bank of India head office -on export financing

MOVIES I ACTED IN : RITHU , BODYGUARD
AD FILMS : PANCHAVADI HOTEL AD FILM CHANGANACHERRY
FEATHERS FASHION SHOW , KAIRALI TV
Development: MBA Marketing , Icfai business school, 2005. B.com .MahatmaUniversity 2002.

Private : Date of birth : 27th August 1981 , Single

Interests - something creative , modeling & cricket
WANT TO BECOME A TV TALK SHOW HOST LIKE Larry King AND ALSO WANT TO DO SHOWS FOR CNBC AND TV TRAVELOGUES

Language Proficency - English , Hindi and Malayalam
PUNE
Thank you very much!

this Nisha the new girl rocking has made every chappal manufacturers take a note ! first of all they have toimprove the chappal quality so that it doesnt break during slapping people on their faces and next of all some ladies ' chappal manufacturers are thinking of roping her in as their brand ambasador

Boban Ignatius
Peelianickal House, Nedumanny Post, Kottayam District, Kerala

Tel: 9048264955 / 9947343085
Email: votican@yahoo.co.in / bosho.spiritualguru@gmail.com
www.bobanignatius.blogspot.com
working as a motivational speaker , management , spiritual and performance consultant .
Versatile Sales Professional with proven commercial, organizational and interpersonal skills

developed in hugely professional environment.

Successful in sales tracking and performance improvement.

Professional History:

Universal Music India, Indian subsidiary entertaining millions with music.

Turnover - about 40 million

Employees-88

Sales manager trainee 2005 through 2009

Successfully managed second biggest account in Mumbai, Crossword; major Distributor, Samir Audio. Successfully improved performance in Gujrat . Outperformed the targets by 10 and 15 percent for two consecutive years.

Summer Internship at Union Bank of India head office -on export financing

Personal Information :

Development: MBA Marketing , Icfai business school, 2005. B.com .MahatmaUniversity 2002.

Private : Date of birth : 27th August 1981 , Single

Interests - something creative , modeling & cricket

Language Proficency - English , Hindi and Malayalam
PUNE
Thank you very much!

poor Shashi Tharoor ! he's done something for the country and its image in the international relations scenario.he is an excellent diplomat and makes very handsome page 3 face too.but he is still a baby in politics where he'll learn the ropes in a hopeful yet sometimes bitter way .but as long as congress let him survive there for another two years he'llprove to be a wonderful asset for the country in the long run .
but one has to understand the insecurities felt by a significnt group of ambitious congressmen because of him .
one has to wonder and watch in dismay as to what really caused the casualities to sanjay and rahul, mr scindia and pilotand most recently ap chief minister.were they mere accidents or planned murders ...?
although tharoor is still not all that big in congress a yet ,a minor portion in congress men feels that he stands in their way to ambitious posts in power

communist parties can play a progressive role i india's growth if they can adapt to the present and future and cater to people's needs

. Flirt

2.Be opinionated

3. Argue

4. Make time for licentious naps

5. Have spontaneous sex

6. Silence is sexy, old flame-talk is not

7. Sex toys are a turnoff

8. So is having too much money

9. Tolerate bad boy behaviour

10. Sex on a first date, why not?

my novel which is named Boban's adventures with life .. you read it tTHE GREATEST FRIENDS & HUMAN BEINGS I HAVE DISCOVERED IN THIS LIFE are MYSELF , MATHEW,TIPSON , VISWAJITH, SWAPPY ,BINNU, RAJESH, AJO KOSHY ,MARY POORNIMA SEBASTIANand probably there are somemore including my wonderful parents!I wish to earn more money to support myself , my dreams and my family .i also don't want to ask my parent s for any more money . i just wish to have a great life partner who's intelligent goddessJLO , Enrique , Riahana ,Beyone , maria carehy& ofcourse my own songs and lyrics, my stage shows etc .Friends , OC , Joey , The Apprentice , Boston Legal50 first dates , Once upon a time in Mexico ,angerchinese , north indian , european management

My Job: my office is at my home.it's a releasing agency at the moment.Newscafe Ads is soon into creative side of advertising. What Newscafe does is it releases advertisements of its clients on all the media anywhere in the world .Likewise we have our ads running on Manorama daily , ACV etc.A business takes time to grow just like a chil

Whtz A Fun ?
Do U Know Wht I Mean It Iz ?
[Ooo
Can I Getc Ya
OO
Can I Touch Ya ]2

Zara Zara Touch Me Touch Me Touch Me
A Zara Zara Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me
A Zara Zara Hold Me Hold Me Hold Me

O Zara Zara Oo OO O

Touch Me Touch Me Touch Me Zara Zara
Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me Zara Zara
Hold Me Hold Me Hold Me Zara Zara
O O O

[Bin Tere Sanam Is Jahan Mein
Beqkaar Hum Dum Da Dum Da Dum
Bin Tere Sanam Is Jahan Mein
Beqkaar Hum ]2

Zara Zara Touch Me Touch Me Touch Me
A Zara Zara Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me
A Zara Zara Hold Me Hold Me Hold Me

O Zara Zara Oo OO O

Touch Me Touch Me Touch Me Zara Zara
Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me Zara Zara
Hold Me Hold Me Hol

Who is Boban Ignatius ?i want to make monney and chill out like this every day !!!
He gets up at 5'o clock .his daily acts starts with jogging ,gym , playing tennis ,dance classes .he's a workaholic from 08.45 to 19.45.after work he plays snooker , chats up with his friends .He makes a good actor , good writer , good columnist ,great travel explorer (travel jockey).He owns the ad agency named Newscafe Ads whfashion and events agency as well intending to spice up events with your favourite deejays , models , bouncers, cheerleaders ,celebrities and event managers
Boban Ignatius also works as a spiritual , motivational and management trainer.He is greatly influenced by Richard Branson and books like cross train your brain ,what they don't teach you at Harvard business school and authors like Salman Rushdie, shobha de and Chetan Bhagat .He is all for the practical side of business teaching and intends to come up with a part time business school to impart entrepreneurial skills amongst the global citizen .As per the eleven Life laws written by Boban Ignatius , One should be a global citizen and he treats himself as one.He is in the process of registering a political party named world United.
Boban Ignatius likes salsa, pool, learning Spanish , Italian and French and wants to marry someone who is real smart.he blogs at …(I will tell you later)
His most favourite places are Milan , Paris , San Francisco, Miami, London , Dubai, Sydney ,HongKong ,Mexico , Madrid ,Singapore , kula Lampur,bangkokZurich&bangalore

Boban Ignatius
• Number One Management & Business Consultant
• Management Guru
• Spiritual Teacher
• Motivational speaker
• Writer
• Number One Management Placement

hank you for dropping in .I have rediscovered my own self as motivational speaker, columnist , entrepreneuer, actor, writer, model.yet i keep myself from getting too distracted.
i am hot and raunchy.DOES

I am looking for a simple , down to earth girl who can be happy living with me.The great Enlightenment philosopher Immanuel Kant once said, Give me matter, and I will construct a world out of it! Describe yourself by describing your world. What is it made out of? How big is it? Who and what is in it?

My world is the nonstop action of running from one event to another. My world is an amalgam of everyday sights, sound, experiences, and memories, an incomplete world full of contradictions and unexplained phenomena. Though my world has confused me more so than ever about my identity, beliefs, and modes of thought, my everyday encounters with the unknown have given me a taste of what could be. My world is comprised of 9 hours of work for living, extend-able if business demands. Occasional run on thread-mill if I get health PANGS , hours on my laptop- browsing through the Internet, generous amount of sleep. In short, I am very ' Lazy'

Very broad minded, out-spoken (without any offenses), extrovert, optimistic,enjoy meeting new people, making friends and Vibrant
I am single and enjoy an active life.
There are many things I like to do, to see, and to experience. I like to read, I like to write; I like to think, I like to dream; I like to talk, I like to listen. I like to see the sunrise in the morning, I like to see the moonlight at night; I like to feel the music flowing on my face, I like to smell the wind coming from the ocean. I like to look at the clouds in the sky with a blank mind, I like to do thought experiment when I cannot sleep in the middle of the night. I like flowers in spring, rain in summer, leaves in autumn, and snow in winter. I like to sleep early, I like to get up late; I like to be alone, I like to be surrounded by people. I like countryside's peace, I like metropolis noises; I like the lakes , I I like the cornfields. I like delicious food and comfortable shoes; I like good books and romantic movies. I like the land and the nature, I like people. And, I like to laugh.
jack nicholson is ma favourite actor ! who could read peoples mind. Of course, I am no where closeich is being groomed into a

golf , beach volley ball, adventure sports,
BOBO PHILOSOPHY..i I wanna be an actor , film maker fashion photographer !

ain't you gonna help me out ......>?
It’s more good like take inside positivity and give out positivity .that’s the philosophical point of view ; view everything inside and outside and anywhere as positivty.haven’t we seen women and men arguing over silly things and fighting killing due t silly rasoning .a better self esteem could solve many of our problems and infact our perceptions.infact that’s what makes this a better world for you and me and the entire living beings
positive stress is the one which makes life better
and negative stress .destructs our daily lives.
Problems start when any of us start judging and seeing a thing as bad , intolerable and start making fusses over it .For some one , he/she starts to
dislike his/her parent over silly reasoning .then he can’t empathise and the problems start.it’s also about how simple do we keep our daily lives and thinking
Great l

DOES TRUE LOVE HAPPEN FOR N SECOND TIME !iN MY NEXT LYF , I WANT TO LIVE THE SAME LIFE BUT GET MARRIED TO MY TRUE LOVE i am confessed now.

when idid that blunder by not marrying her , i started behaving like a loser!I never really understood that till yesterday.but yes,if i can see she's living a better life and is happy then iam really happy for her.I think some body told an ironic philosophy ' the secret is to let those who love escape from you"
she would have been areal great balancer in my lyfe. ireally miss her and all the support she's given me throughout. she would probabaly be thinking thati am a hypocrite to say althis and probably all late to say this.

If you care about me abit then why don't you listen to Hello is it me your looking for by Lionel Richie

I just wanna love people & make this world a better place for you and me
my passions : make the rules play the game & win the game I wish to live abetter life : accepting the truth as it really is ; being a friend to someone ;

Job Application
Boban Ignatius,
Pellianickal Champannoore,
Nedumanny Post , Kottayam 686542,
(994)- 7343085.
.
DearSir/Madam,
I am writing with reference to your advertisement in the local Employment News magazine for want of a sales manager. I consider that my credentials and interests match with your requirement and want to apply for the same.
Presently I’mdeputed as a channel sales manager atUniversal Music , Mumbai for the last fiveyears. I’m responsible for the sales management of 60stores including, asset management, customer growth, revenue production, personnel development, inventory control and key result areas.
Although I am enjoying my present job, I am looking out for new opportunities in another field. I will be contacting you ,next week, to arrange a personal meeting and discuss the prospect.
Regards,
Boban Ignatius.
Enclosures:
1. Resume - myresume.doc


Boban Ignatius
Peelianickal House, Nedumanny Post, Kottayam District, Kerala

Tel: 9947343085
Email: votican@yahoo.co.in / bobantheangel@hotmail.com
www.bobanignatius.blogspot.com
working as a motivational speaker , management , spiritual and performance consultant .
Versatile Sales Professional with proven commercial, organizational and interpersonal skills

developed in hugely professional environment.

Successful in sales tracking and performance improvement.

Professional History:

Universal Music India, Indian subsidiary entertaining millions with music.

Turnover - about 40 million

Employees-88

Sales manager trainee 2005 through 2009

Successfully managed second biggest account in Mumbai, Crossword; major Distributor, Samir Audio. Successfully improved performance in Gujrat . Outperformed the targets by 10 and 15 percent for two consecutive years.

Summer Internship at Union Bank of India head office -on export financing

Personal Information :

Development: MBA Marketing , Icfai business school, 2005. B.com .MahatmaUniversity 2002.

Private : Date of birth : 27th August 1981 , Single

Interests - something creative , modeling & cricket

Language Proficency - English , Hindi and Malayalam
PUNE
Thank you very much!

Boban Ignatius
Peelianickal House, Nedumanny Post, Kottayam District, Kerala

Tel: 9947343085
Email: votican@yahoo.co.in / bobantheangel@hotmail.com
www.bobanignatius.blogspot.com
working as a motivational speaker , management , spiritual and performance consultant .
Versatile Sales Professional with proven commercial, organizational and interpersonal skills

developed in hugely professional environment.

Successful in sales tracking and performance improvement.

Professional History:

Universal Music India, Indian subsidiary entertaining millions with music.

Turnover - about 40 million

Employees-88

Sales manager trainee 2005 through 2009

Successfully managed second biggest account in Mumbai, Crossword; major Distributor, Samir Audio. Successfully improved performance in Gujrat . Outperformed the targets by 10 and 15 percent for two consecutive years.

Summer Internship at Union Bank of India head office -on export financing

Personal Information :

Development: MBA Marketing , Icfai business school, 2005. B.com .MahatmaUniversity 2002.

Private : Date of birth : 27th August 1981 , Single

Interests - something creative , modeling & cricket

Language Proficency - English , Hindi and Malayalam
PUNE
Thank you very much!

Job Application
Boban Ignatius,
Pellianickal Champannoore,
Nedumanny Post , Kottayam 686542,
(994)- 7343085.
.
DearSir/Madam,
I am writing with reference to your advertisement in the local Employment News magazine for want of a sales manager. I consider that my credentials and interests match with your requirement and want to apply for the same.
Presently I’mdeputed as a channel sales manager atUniversal Music , Mumbai for the last fiveyears. I’m responsible for the sales management of 60stores including, asset management, customer growth, revenue production, personnel development, inventory control and key result areas.
Although I am enjoying my present job, I am looking out for new opportunities in another field. I will be contacting you ,next week, to arrange a personal meeting and discuss the prospect.
Regards,
Boban Ignatius.
Enclosures:
1. Resume - myresume.doc

How many of us are really happy at work? Not many at all, according to survey after survey.

How many of us are really happy at work? Not many at all, according to survey after survey.
Do you recognise any of these?


stress
isolation
overwork
long hours
unfair criticism
difficulties with productivity
demands to achieve more with less
ever increasing workloads and targets
feeling under-valued or under-rewarded
a struggle to maintain a healthy work-life balance
limited chances for self or professional development


Surely work should be about more than these, and it can be. We can all enjoy satisfying, challenging, rewarding work, whilst living rounded, meaningful lives. Many people are already, in happy workplaces around the world, guided by enlightened leaders. Are you one? Do you want to become one?

As John Ruskin said: "In order that people may be happy in their work, these three things are needed": They must be fit for it. They must not do too much of it. And they must have a sense of success in it.



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Each category contains several topic pages. For example, our "Motivating" category is split into Motivational Stories and Motivational Quotes. So just follow the links on the left navigation bar to any topic that matches your needs or interests.

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People who care, shareSeptember 15, 2006 @ 10:37 am · Filed under Best of site, Happy At Work, Learning




Knowledge Sharing is hot these days, and many companies are introducing processes and technologies that allow employees to learn from each other and to collect the implicit knowledge present in any company.

And very often, it doesn’t work. Companies put a knowledge management system in place… and nothing happens. Nobody uses it. It then becomes a struggle to convince employees that knowledge sharing is good for them and for the company, based on a “what’s in it for me” approach.

And that’s because the whole Knowledge Sharing approach is fundamentally flawed, and because businesses really need to focus on something else.

That something else is Passion Sharing.

It’s almost impossible to make people care about Knowledge Sharing if they don’t care about their knowledge in the first place. And if they don’t care, they don’t share (yes, I’m pretty proud of that little ditty :o).

Get people together who’re passionate about a topic, however, and knowledge sharing happens automagically. You don’t need to lift a finger to get them started. In fact, the most difficult part may be to get them to stop and take a break.

This is also why people meet on meetup.com around topics like crocheting, chihuahua dogs or camping. They’re not getting paid or being pressured. There are no consultants to tell them when or how to share their knowledge. It just happens. Because they care.

Here are some of the main differences between Knowledge Sharing and Passion Sharing:

Knowledge Sharing Passion Sharing
What matters is how much you know what matters is how much you care
Convince people to share their knowledge Let people get passionate about their work – knowledge sharing happens automagically
Create systems to share knowledge Create systems to let people find other people who share their passion
It’s about knowledge, processes and systems It’s about people
Is perceived as a burden by employees Is seen as a help
Boring! Fun!

Did I forget any?

Another advantage of Passion Sharing is that it plays into the whole “Nobody cares how much you know, untill they know how much you care” thing. People come across as more trustworthy and likable when they’re passionate about what they do.

This is one more reason why we need passionate people in the workplace. And of course, if you want people to be passionate about their jobs, you need to make them happy at work. You just knew I’d get around to that, didn’t you? :o)

If you liked this post I’m pretty sure you’ll also enjoy these:

Top 10 tips for creative, productive, fun writing
A challenge to all managers: Know your people
The strongest force in business (no, not money) Front page Happy Hour is 9 to 5 Book About the site About Alexander Kjerulf Speaking & Consulting Contact Alex Ask the CHO
About Alexander Kjerulf

Alex makes people happy at work. No, really, he does!

He speaks and consults in businesses all over the world, showing executives, managers and employees how to change workplaces from dreary and stressful to more fun, energized and happy. And profitable!

He is the author of Happy Hour is 9 to 5, a practical guide to making yourself and others happy at work. Because loving what you do is just that damn important!

Read more about Alex...
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Top 5 reasons why “The customer is Always Right” is wrongMarch 10, 2008 @ 12:07 pm · Filed under Happy At Work, Leadership




When the customer isn’t right – for your business
One woman who frequently flew on Southwest, was constantly disappointed with every aspect of the company’s operation. In fact, she became known as the “Pen Pal” because after every flight she wrote in with a complaint.

She didn’t like the fact that the company didn’t assign seats; she didn’t like the absence of a first-class section; she didn’t like not having a meal in flight; she didn’t like Southwest’s boarding procedure; she didn’t like the flight attendants’ sporty uniforms and the casual atmosphere.

Her last letter, reciting a litany of complaints, momentarily stumped Southwest’s customer relations people. They bumped it up to Herb’s [Kelleher, CEO of Southwest] desk, with a note: ‘This one’s yours.’

In sixty seconds, Kelleher wrote back and said, ‘Dear Mrs. Crabapple, We will miss you. Love, Herb.’”

The phrase “The customer is always right” was originally coined by Harry Gordon Selfridge, the founder of Selfridge’s department store in London in 1909, and is typically used by businesses to:

Convince customers that they will get good service at this company
Convince employees to give customers good service
Fortunately more and more businesses are abandoning this maxim – ironically because it leads to bad customer service.

Here are the top five reasons why “The customer is always right” is wrong.


1: It makes employees unhappy
Gordon Bethune is a brash Texan (as is Herb Kelleher, coincidentally) who is best known for turning Continental Airlines around “From Worst to First,” a story told in his book of the same title from 1998. He wanted to make sure that both customers and employees liked the way Continental treated them, so he made it very clear that the maxim “the customer is always right” didn’t hold sway at Continental.

In conflicts between employees and unruly customers he would consistently side with his people. Here’s how he puts it:

When we run into customers that we can’t reel back in, our loyalty is with our employees. They have to put up with this stuff every day. Just because you buy a ticket does not give you the right to abuse our employees . . .

We run more than 3 million people through our books every month. One or two of those people are going to be unreasonable, demanding jerks. When it’s a choice between supporting your employees, who work with you every day and make your product what it is, or some irate jerk who demands a free ticket to Paris because you ran out of peanuts, whose side are you going to be on?

You can’t treat your employees like serfs. You have to value them . . . If they think that you won’t support them when a customer is out of line, even the smallest problem can cause resentment.

So Bethune trusts his people over unreasonable customers. What I like about this attitude is that it balances employees and customers, where the “always right” maxim squarely favors the customer – which is not a good idea, because, as Bethune says, it causes resentment among employees.

Of course there are plenty of examples of bad employees giving lousy customer service. But trying to solve this by declaring the customer “always right” is counter-productive.

2: It gives abrasive customers an unfair advantage
Using the slogan “The customer is always right” abusive customers can demand just about anything – they’re right by definition, aren’t they? This makes the employees’ job that much harder, when trying to rein them in.

Also, it means that abusive people get better treatment and conditions than nice people. That always seemed wrong to me, and it makes much more sense to be nice to the nice customers to keep them coming back.

3: Some customers are bad for business
Most businesses think that “the more customers the better”. But some customers are quite simply bad for business.

Danish IT service provider ServiceGruppen proudly tell this story:

One of our service technicians arrived at a customer’s site for a maintenance task, and to his great shock was treated very rudely by the customer.

When he’d finished the task and returned to the office, he told management about his experience. They promptly cancelled the customer’s contract.

Just like Kelleher dismissed the irate lady who kept complaining (but somehow also kept flying on Southwest), ServiceGruppen fired a bad customer. Note that it was not even a matter of a financial calculation – not a question of whether either company would make or lose money on that customer in the long run. It was a simple matter of respect and dignity and of treating their employees right.

4: It results in worse customer service
Rosenbluth International, a corporate travel agency, took it even further. CEO Hal Rosenbluth wrote an excellent book about their approach called Put The Customer Second – Put your people first and watch’em kick butt.

Rosenbluth argues that when you put the employees first, they put the customers first. Put employees first, and they will be happy at work. Employees who are happy at work give better customer service because:

They care more about other people, including customers
They have more energy
They are happy, meaning they are more fun to talk to and interact with
They are more motivated
On the other hand, when the company and management consistently side with customers instead of with employees, it sends a clear message that:

Employees are not valued
That treating employees fairly is not important
That employees have no right to respect from customers
That employees have to put up with everything from customers
When this attitude prevails, employees stop caring about service. At that point, real good service is almost impossible – the best customers can hope for is fake good service. You know the kind I mean: corteous on the surface only.

5: Some customers are just plain wrong
Herb Kelleher agrees, as this passage From Nuts! the excellent book about Southwest Airlines shows:

Herb Kelleher [...] makes it clear that his employees come first — even if it means dismissing customers. But aren’t customers always right? “No, they are not,” Kelleher snaps. “And I think that’s one of the biggest betrayals of employees a boss can possibly commit. The customer is sometimes wrong. We don’t carry those sorts of customers. We write to them and say, ‘Fly somebody else. Don’t abuse our people.’”

If you still think that the customer is always right, read this story from Bethune’s book “From Worst to First”:

A Continental flight attendant once was offended by a passenger’s child wearing a hat with Nazi and KKK emblems on it. It was pretty offensive stuff, so the attendant went to the kid’s father and asked him to put away the hat. “No,” the guy said. “My kid can wear what he wants, and I don’t care who likes it.”

The flight attendant went into the cockpit and got the first officer, who explained to the passenger the FAA regulation that makes it a crime to interfere with the duties of a crew member. The hat was causing other passengers and the crew discomfort, and that interfered with the flight attendant’s duties. The guy better put away the hat.

He did, but he didn’t like it. He wrote many nasty letters. We made every effort to explain our policy and the federal air regulations, but he wasn’t hearing it. He even showed up in our executive suite to discuss the matter with me. I let him sit out there. I didn’t want to see him and I didn’t want to listen to him. He bought a ticket on our airplane, and that means we’ll take him where he wants to go. But if he’s going to be rude and offensive, he’s welcome to fly another airline.

The fact is that some customers are just plain wrong, that businesses are better of without them, and that managers siding with unreasonable customers over employees is a very bad idea, that results in worse customer service.

So put your people first. And watch them put the customers first.

Related posts
If you liked this post, there’s a good chance you’ll also enjoy:

When is it time to leave a bad job? Find your quitting point.
The cult of overwork
Why “Motivation by Pizza” Doesn’t Work
Top 10 reasons why happiness at work is the ultimate productivity booster
NB: This is a re-run of a previous post while I’m away from the blog for a day.Alex is the world’s leading expert on happiness at work. He has long known that happiness at work is the most important factor that contributes to good careers, happy lives and business success.

He is a speaker, consultant and author, presenting and conducting workshops on happiness at work at businesses and conferences all over the world. His previous clients include companies like Hilton, DaimlerChrysler and IBM.

His clients especially appreciate his unlimited energy, his dedication to happiness at work and his ability to keep his message simple and practical and fun.

Alex has a masters degree in computer science from The University of Southern Denmark, and was a co-founder of Enterprise Systems – a truly happy IT company.

Alex is the author of Happy Hour is 9 to 5 – How to Love Your Job, Love Your Life and Kick Butt at Work. The book has been extremely well received all over the world. David Maister called it “very, very good” and “extremely well written.” But the praise that Alex appreciates the most came from Anna Farmery, who said that “reading the book makes me happy and gives me faith that we can create great workplaces.”

Alex also writes about happiness at work on this blog, which is read by thousands of people every day.

And in case your wondering, his last name (Kjerulf) is pronounced a little like care-oolf.

More information
Hire me to speak or consult on happiness at work in your company.
My recent media appearances.
How to handle chronic complainersAugust 24, 2006 @ 10:53 am · Filed under Best of site, Happy At Work




Got any chronic complainers where you work? It seems like every workplace has them – the people for whom the weather is always too warm or too cold, the boss is a jerk, the food is lousy, work sucks and … you fill out the list.

No matter how good things get they still only see the bad – and they go to huge lengths to point it out to everyone around them.

I’m not saying we should outlaw complaining, but workplaces need to do something about the chronic complainers because they tend to make people around them unhappy at work. It’s a fact that negative people are highly contagious and one chronic complainer can easily get an entire department down.

We try many different strategies to deal with complainers – one german IT company even bans whiners from the workplace. Yep – if you have a bad day you are not allowed to come in.

But most of the strategies we normally use on complainers don’t help and often make matters worse. I’ve outlined these strategies below.

And then at the end of the post, theres a simple, devious trick that works amazingly well. Try it!


The things we normally do about complainers and why they don’t work
There are several strategies people use around complainers, none of which really work.

1: Cheering them up doesn’t work
As in “Oh, it can’t be that bad”, “Come on, cheer up” or the perennial favorite “Time heals all wounds”.

Saying things like this shows the complainer that you’re not taking their pain seriously. When you tell a complainer “it’s not that bad”, he will often complain even harder to convince you (and himself) that his problems are very serious indeed.

2: Suggesting solutions doesn’t work
“Why don’t you…”, “have you tried…” or even worse “You should really have…”

The complainers’ problems are really serious and can’t be solved by a few smart-ass suggestions from you. Or so they’ve convinced themselves. The more you try to suggest solutions, the harder they will work to convince you and themselves that these solutions could never possibly work for them.

3: Telling them to pull themselves together doesn’t work
“Quit complaining and do something about it” or one of my favorites: “You either want the problem or you want the solution”.

Yeah, telling them that their problems are trivial and they just need to pull themselves together is going to work juuuuust fine. All complainers magically stop complaining at this. Or do they?

4: Complaining about the complainers doesn’t work
“Damn, that Sally complains a lot doesn’t she?”

Guess what, you just became a complainer :o)

5: Ignoring them / avoiding them doesn’t work
This makes complainers clamor for attention even more – which usually makes people ignore them even more. That’s a vicious cycle right there.

6: Complaining along with them doesn’t work
“You know what, you’re right, the boss IS a jerk. And the weather sucks. In fact everything sucks.”

This can be kind of cosy because it creates bonding and an us-against-the-world feeling. But ultimately it’s a bad idea because the more people complain the less prone they are to doing something about their problems.

I remember one of the first jobs I had where my manager was a complete dolt. My co-workers and I couldn’t start a meeting, go out for a beer or just meet in the hallway without spending 15-20 minutes complaining about him and his stupid ways. But all those man-hours spent complaining changed nothing and none of us ever did anything about it. Except quit the company one by one :o)

7: Confronting them doesn’t work
You can drive the complaints underground where you don’t see them, but they will probably still be going on. And repressed complaining is worse than open complaining because it gets to stew and grow while it’s hidden.

A trick that does work
So what does work? Here’s a simple but very effective trick:

A friend of mine who’s a dentist told me about an elderly, grouchy patient of hers. Every time he came in for an appointment he’d complain about the weather, his children, his car, taxes, society, and any other topic that might come up.

Now you might think “Hey, she’s a dentist, fill his mouth with gauze and cotton and let’s see him complain then!” but my friend is a naturally happy person and would instead try to cheer him up. Didn’t work, just made him complain even more.

So I taught her this trick and the next time he came in for an appointment she was ready. He went in the chair, and immediately started complaining.

After listening to his usual litany for a while my dentist friend said, with deep sympathy in her voice, “You know, that sounds terrible. I don’t know how you deal with all of these problems.”

You know what he said?

“Weeeeell, it’s not THAT bad!”

This approach works because it gives the complainer what he’s really after: Empathy. Not cheering up, not solutions, not egging-on. Just understanding of what is, for him, a difficult situation.

There are two important things to notice here:

Don’t be sarcastic when you say it. Be sincere.
You don’t have to agree that these are huge problems. Even if everything the complainer says sounds trivial to you, remember that it feels like a huge problem to him or her wouldn’t go on about it. What seems trivial to one person can be a huge problem for others.
So you’re not saying “Yes, I agree that’s a huge problem”. And you’re certainly not saying “Oh, poor poor you” in a sarcastic voice. You’re just acknowledging the fact that this is a huge problem for that person. Which undeniably it is.

Does this make the complaining go away? Only sometimes. But it keeps you from being part of a vicious cycle of responses that just makes the complainers complain more and more and more. The cycle is cut at the point you take their distress seriously.

So try this approach on your favorite complainer and tell me how it goes.

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Permalink biggest threats to happiness at work is having too many fixed expenses at home. When you’re completely dependent on bringing home a pay check (or two!) every single month, you’re vulnerable. If work turns out to be unbearable you can’t simply up and leave and take three months without income.

I’ve chosen low-rent living for myself. At first it was through accident rather than planning but now I would never live any other way. Read on to see how it has made me happy at work – and in life.

Some years ago, my wonderful girlfriend Patricia and I were hunting for a new place to live in Copenhagen. We were living in her small, 1-bedroom apartment and we really longed for more space, more rooms and a bigger kitchen. Homes are getting ludicrously expensive in all European capitals including Copenhagen, so we went through a process that is common to many people hunting for a new home:

We started looking at places within our budget that we could easily afford.
But those places weren’t really cool so we started looking at more and more expensive places
Untill we’d reached our threshold of pain and were only considering the most expensive places we could conceivably afford
We actually submitted bids on two different (expensive) homes and narrowly lost out in each case to other bidders. Back then we were devastated – we really had our minds set on those two places. Today we’re incredibly relieved that it never came through. We’re still living in Patricia’s apartment which costs us next to nothing and looking back I can see how much of an advantage that has been for the both of us. Obviously this applies not only to your mortgage or rent but to all fixed expenses. Rent/mortgage just happens to be the largest fixed expense most of us have.

Leaving lots of breathing room in my economy has brought me some huge advantages:

1: Freedom to leave a bad job
When a job doesn’t make me happy, I can quit without worrying about the money. I’ve done it once, Patricia twice. It’s not that we’ve quit at the fist sign of trouble – we have always tried to make it work. But when we’ve realized that a particular job wasn’t going to make us happy, we’ve had the freedom to say sayonara without first finding a new job.

2: Freedom to take a chance
In the startup I’ve been running the past three years I’ve been able to take some chances and focus more on building a happy, sustainable business than on bringing home a big pay-check every month. It has allowed the business to grow organically which has paid off immensely now that the business is up and running.

3: Freedom to do what I enjoy
I can decide to do stuff that lets me learn, meet interesting people or plain have fun but may not make any money here and now. This is a huge boon to me and my business in the long run because it means that I’m constantly developing and learning.

4: Freedom to do what’s right
I can do what’s right rather than what makes me more money. I can decide to work for free for a company that really needs me, but can’t afford me. I can give stuff away if I think people need it. I can set a high ethical standard and not need to worry about having to compromise it for profit.

5: Freedom to work less hours
There’s no pressure on me to work 50, 60 or 80 hours a week. I can if I want to and sometimes I do and if I’d rather work 20 hours one week I can do that. I’ve once and for all left The Cult of Overwork.

6: Freedom to say no to some customers
Some customers just aren’t right for your business. The chemistry is wrong, their needs dont’ match your solutions or they’re just too much trouble. I have the freedom to say no to some customers and yes to the best customers.

All of the above really comes down to short-term vs. long-term planning. Economic freedom let’s you invest in your future by doing things now that make less money, but will eventually make you more.

7: Peace of mind
I spend almost zero time and energy worrying about money – it’s just not an issue. I also don’t need to worry whether the interest rates go up or down half a point. Or whether there really is a housing bubble and house prices are about to start falling. That’s a huge relief and gives me more time and energy for business and life.

8: Focus on what really matters
When I’m not concerned with a bigger home, bigger car or bigger TV I focus on what really matters. My girlfriend, family, friends, business, writing, networking, learning, reading, etc… I waste no time keeping up with the Joneses.

9: Simple living
Living in a small appartment has taught us to own only the things we really need. We’ve been getting really good at throwing or giving away clothes, linens, kitchenware, furniture, knick-knacks etc. that we don’t use regularly. And this is a huge relief because you can form a huge attachment to the things you own and paring them down to only the things you really need teaches you to let go of that. There’s a mental relief and freedom that comes from that. Less stuff in your home = less stuff on your mind.

10: More money for fun stuff
When less money goes into the stuff I own, there’s more money for the stuff I do. Like snowboarding, conferences, travelling and more.

I want to make two things very clear:
1: This is not about being unambitious at work or setting small business goals. I can assure you that my aspirations are as big as the next person’s. It’s about realizing that economic wiggle room frees you to do things and take chances that lead to more happiness and therefore to great results in your work life and your private life.

2: I’m not knocking anybody else’s lifestyle and financial decisions. This is simply an observation of something that I discovered mostly by accident but which works incredibly well for me. Maybe you would be terribly miserable living in a small appartment instead of a huge house.

But I know that many people feel trapped in jobs they don’t like because their financial situation is precarious and leaves them no wiggle room. If that’s the case for you maybe you should consider trying the low-rent life and granting yourself some financial freedom. It’s a huge step towards more happiness at work and in life.

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About Alexander Kjerulf

Alex makes people happy at work. No, really, he does!

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He is the author of Happy Hour is 9 to 5, a practical guide to making yourself and others happy at work. Because loving what you do is just that damn important!

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Effective, easy, fun things to make yourself happy at workJuly 24, 2006 @ 11:07 am · Filed under Happy At Work, Happy at work book

This post is a draft chapter of the book about happiness at work I wrote right here on the blog.

The book is called:
Happy Hour is 9 to 5 -
How to Love Your Job,
Love Your Life and
Kick Butt at Work

I finished the book and it came out in December, so this page is now less relevant. I'm leaving it here, to preserve some of the process that led to the book.

Click here if you want to read the finished book. It's available free online and you can buy it on paper or as an e-book.


Here is the original post:
Happiness at work comes from the things you and I do here and now. Not from whitepapers, committees or corporate mission statements.

There are so many things you can do – the important thing is that you do something.

This chapter has plenty of things you can start with, and focuses especially on things that are:

Basic – so they work for most people in almost any job
Important – so they make a difference
Easy – so they don’t stress you out
Effective – so they give you quick results
Contagious – so they spread once a few people start doing it
Fun – so you’ll actively enjoy doing them
Imagine the opposite: A book that tells you, that the road to happiness at work is long, difficult and unpleasant. It would be best to drop such a book very quickly indeed.

With that in mind here are some great, easy, effective and above all fun places to start.


Make others happy
Patricia was leaving work after a long day. She was one of the last to leave, and she had to admit that she hadn’t enjoyed her day much. People seemed so intent on their jobs and nobody seemed to care about the people around them.

When Patricia went into the break room to wash her coffee mug, she noticed Lisa’s, a co-worker, mug by the sink, unwashed. She quickly washed both mugs, and then, on a whim, wrote a post-it note saying “Have a great day”, drew a smiley on it and stuck it on her Lisa’s mug. Then she went home.

The next morning Lisa walked through the entire department with a huge smile on her face saying “Who did this? What a great thing to do? Who was it? This totally made my morning!” Once Patricia admitted it was her, Lisa thanked her profusely, and could be found smiling broadly for a long time after.

Patricia’s one-minute gesture made a colleague happy at work not just that morning but that entire day.

It can’t be said too often: The very best way to make yourself happy at work is to make others happy. It works because:

Making others happy at work is a pleasure in itself.
Happiness is contagious, so more happy people around you means more happiness for you
If you make others happy at work, there’s a good chance they’ll get back at you and make you happy
It’s easy too. You could:

Bring someone a cup of coffee without them asking.
Write a nice message on a post-it and stick it on their desk or computer
Offer to help with their work
Or just about a million other things. Try it, it works wonders!

Be positive
In chapter X we saw how important it is to be positive at work. But how do you do that? You can’t really walk around all day mumbling “gotta be positive, gotta be positive” under your breath. That might make your co-workers slightly anxious.

But there are some simple, specific things you can do, that make you and the people around you more positive. Here are some ideas.

Open meetings with a positive round

Psychological experiments can be very devious and this one was certainly no exception. The focus was meetings and the format was simple: Groups of people were asked to discuss and reach consensus on a contentious topic.

Here’s the devious bit: Unbeknownst to the other participants one member of the group was an actor hired by the researchers. The actor was told to speak first in the discussions. In half the experiments he would say something positive while in the other half he would start by saying something critical. After that he simply participated in the discussion like the other group members.

The experiment showed that when the first thing said in the meeting was positive, the discussion turned out more constructive, people listened more and were more likely to reach consensus. When the first statement was critical the mood became more hostile, people were more argumentative and consensus became less likely.

The researchers concluded that the way a meeting starts has a large impact on the tone of the discusion and on whether or not the group will eventually reach consensus.

Ah – meetings. The most energizing, creative and fun activity in the workplace. What’s that you say? They’re not? Well they can be. In fact they should be. Here’s a monday tip that can help your group take a step in that direction.

Many groups, projects or departments open their meetings with a round where each participant can say what he or she is working on, and quite often this ends up as a litany of complaints and problems. But as the experiment cited above shows, this is likely to affect the whole meeting.

So do this instead: Open staff meetings with a round where each person answers one of these questions:

What have I done since the last meeting that I’ve been proud of?
Name a person who has helped you since the last meeting.
What are you looking forward to the most in the coming week/month?
What’s the funniest thing someone has told you in the last week?
Pick a new question for each meeting and make some up yourself as long as they focus on something positive.

Don’t spend a lot of time on this, just give each participant 30-60 seconds to share something positive. It can change the entire mood of a meeting when you start with something positive instead of with a round of collective and individual moans.

Keep a happy at work log
At the end of every work day, just before you go home, write down five things that made you happy at work that day. Do it in a text document or just on a piece of paper, that’s not important, but what matters is that you take a few minutes at the end of every work day to remember what was good about that day. Big or small, doesn’t matter, as long as it made your day a little better. Meat loaf day at the cafeteria. Making a deadline. Talking to a nice co-worker. Anything.

If you can’t come up with five items for the list, that’s fine, write down as many as you can. If you can’t think of a single one, then either it’s been a bad day, or it’s time to look for a new job.

Why is this a good thing? Well, let’s say you’ve had ten good experiences at work today and one bad one. If you go home, thinking only of the bad one, you will remember this as a bad day. It will even feel as a bad day. And most people do have a tendency to remember negative experiences better than positive ones. This makes it a good idea to take extra care to remember good experiences, in this case by writing them down.

The “good stuff first” rule

At Enterprise Systems, the IT company I co-founded, we suddenly discovered that we’d become extremely critical of everything. This is no wonder, as IT developers a large part of our job was debugging and finding errors. Furthermore, we were mostly engineering types, a profession trained to think of everything that can go wrong.

The problem was that our discussions and meeeting got unpleasant, and in a few cases even nasty. Nobody could agree on much and people were constantly nitpicking on each others ideas.

So Martin, another co-founder, came up with a simple rule: The good stuff first. When someone makes a suggestion, you don’t have to agree. But you have to first say what you agree with in the idea, and then the stuff you disagree with. This made discussions much more constructive and fun. It also opened our eyes to the fact that where we’d previously thought that we were completely disagreeing, we were often 80-90% in agreement, and only disagreed on a few details.

Consider making this a rule in the workplace: First say what you agree with. Then say what you disagree on. And even if you can’t make it a rule, you can always practice it yourself.

Praise
Kjaer Group, a company that sells cars in developing nations, instituted the order of the elephant a few years back. It’s a huge plush toy that any employee can award to any other, along with an explanation of why that employee deserves the order. The praisee gets the elephant for a couple of day, and the thing being two feet tall it’s kind hard to overlook standing on that persons desk.

Other employees stopping by immediately notice the elephant and go “Hey, you got the elephant. What’d you do?” which of course means that the good stories and best practices get told and re-told many times. This is an excellent, simple and cheap way of enhancing learning and happiness at work.

Praise may be the single most effective method to make people happy at work and the great thing is that it takes no money and almost no time. Remember that good praise is:

Relevant – Dont’ praise just to praise, but make sure to praise whenever there’s a reason
Timely – Praise as soon as there’s a reason
Personal – Tailor it to that particular praisee
For extra bonus points:

Praise someone you don’t talk to often. It’s a great way to establish contact.
Praise your manager. Managers often hear very little praise from their employees. But: Don’t kiss butt – only genuine praise counts.
If you really want a challenge, praise someone you don’t like much or someone you’re currently having a conflict with. It can be a great way to get un-stuck. Can’t think of anything positive about that person? Try again – there’s always something.
Some companies practice a philosophy of “Catch people making mistakes and punish them quickly”, but “Catch people doing things right and praise them quickly” is much more likely to make people happy at work.

This does not mean that you can’t criticize people and correct them when they make a mistake. In fact, if you routinely praise people when they get it right, they’re more open and positive towards criticism.

Some great ways to praise include:
In person
Don’t make a big production out of it, just go up to a colleague, deliver your praise and then get back to work. Do not hang around waiting to be praised back :o) Also do not add a “…but you really need to improve your…” after the praise – that kinda ruins the whole point :o)

Use a token
Like the elephant that Kjaer Group uses. If you can find something with relevance for your company even better.

Chain letter
Pass around a piece of paper with “Things we appreciate about Linda” at the top around your department or team. Let everyone write down all the things they appreciate about Linda. Then give it to her.

Poncho
This is an exercise we developed for our Happy At Work Workshops, and it never fails. It takes about 15 minutes and works in groups of up to about 40 people. All you need is a flipover chart and a marker pen for each person.

Ask each person to tear a whole in the middle of the sheet of paper and then put it on like a poncho. Give each person a marker pen. Once everyone is wearing their poncho, give people the following instructions: “Go around and write on the back of other people. Write the stuff you like and appreciate about the person. The stuff they excell at and do well. Write on as many people as possible.”




Then give people timeto write on each other.

Groups of 10-20 people will need about 5 minutes, larger groups may need 10. Once people have finished writing on each other, give them these instructions: “I bet you’re all wondering what people have been writing on you. Please keep your ponchos on and sit down. Now for the next minute, you’re not allowed to speak. You’re only allowed to read what it says on your poncho and to enjoy it. Please, take them off and read them now”. Give them a minute or so to read their ponchos then end the exercise and thank them for participating.

We’ve done this exercise with leaders, employees, government workers, school teachers, social workers, secretaries, lab workers, prison guards, kitchen staff and many, many other groups and it works every single time.

Participants especially enjoy that:

It’s easy to give praise
It’s easy to receive praise – you don’t have to respond to it, only to enjoy it
They learn what people appreciate about you
They can save their ponchos and take them out and read them when the need a boost
My favorite part of the poncho exercise is when you get chains of 5-10 people, each writing on the back of the next one.

Meaning
A traveller is walking down a hot, dusty road when he passes three men chopping up stones. The first one looks unhappy, and clearly has the look of a man wishing he was anyhwere else. No wonder, it’s hot, hard, unpleasant labor after all. The traveller asks him “What are you doing?”. “Cutting stones” the man replies.

The second man looks fairly happy with what he’s doing despite the hot air and hard work. “What are you doing?” the traveller asks him? “I’m cutting stones to make money to support my family.”

The third stone-chopper looks happy verging on blissful. He’s giving the stones his full attention, attently and carefully cutting them into smaller rocks. When he stops for a sip of water, the traveller asks him “What are you doing?”. In a proud voice he replies “I’m building a cathedral.”

This story is old and corny and you’ve probably heard it a thousand times but it aptly illustrates the three levels of meaning you can find at work:

No meaning. Work makes no sense to you.
Work makes sense because it supports yourself and your family
Work makes sense in itself – you’re making something great or making the world better
I’m not telling you that every job has meaning or even that your job has it. Some jobs do, some jobs don’t. Some people see that meaning, some don’t.

What I am saying is that meaning is important to making us happy at work, and it’s much easier to be happy when your job has meaning and you keep that meaning in mind. Knowing how your work contributes to the company’s success, to your local community or even to a better world makes you proud of what you do.

To uncover meaning in your job, if it’s not already clear to you ask yourself

Who am I making happy in the company?
Who am I making happy outside the company through my work?
Who is the company making happy? How am I contributing to this?
George Bernard Shaw had the right idea when he said that:

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

Finding your purpose at work, one you recognize as mighty, is a great way to become happier at work. To paraphrase Shaw, “This is the true joy in work”.

Relationships at work
Get to know the people around you at work. You don’t need to make friends with everybody, but positive relationships are one of the most important factors for happiness at work. And remember: Positive relationships can be with co-workers, employees, customers, suppliers or even competitors.

It doesn’t take much to build and maintain good efforts, but it does take a consious effort for most people. It’s something you do need to focus on or relationships can atrophy so co-workers end up as mere strangers sharing the same office building.

Say good morning and goodbye

I was once a consultant at a company that had a strange practice: All employees greeted each other with handshakes in the morning. Every time you ran into a co-worker in the morning, up till around 10 AM, you greeted that person not just with a “Good morning” but with a handshake as well.

As an outsider and newcomer I felt weird about it at first but soon it became perfectly natural and even something I looked forward to. Greeting people became not just a mumbled “mornin’” from behind the computer screen, you had to get up and give that person your full attention.

It was also interesting to see how it worked to break down barriers between people and to re-establish good relations every day. It’s a little harder to be mad at a person whom you’ve greeted with a firm handshake that same morning.

When you get in in the morning, make a round of your department and greet everyone there. When other people arrive after you, take a moment to greet them with your full attention. Do the same thing when you leave. It’s such a simple thing to do but it makes a big difference to relations at the office. People feel more connected to each other and establish better communications throughout the day.

Learn one new thing about a co-worker every day
What do you know about your co-workers? Do you know who has children and how many? Who has what hobby? Where was their last vacation?

Take an interest and absorb at least one new fact every day.

Work-free lunch hours
Outlaw all talk about work during lunch breaks and other breaks. They are, after all, breaks so treat them as such.

Go bowling
Or go to a pub, a café, a dinner at someones home, to the park, have an office party. Anything that gives people a chance to see each other outside of work and to get to know each other as people rather than only as co-workers. Whichever type of event you choose don’t make it too traditional and don’t make it fancy or expensive – make it personal and memorable instead.

Kirsten Gehl, the HR manager at Accenture Denmark, and her party team were forced to get creative. Accenture in Denmark had had a rough year in 2003 and were forced to rethink their usual annual company summer party. Normally this was a huge affair at some fancy hotel or restaurant – we’re talking traditional and above all expensive. That was out of the question this year, so what would work? How could she give the people at Accenture a much needed positive collective experience on a much more limited budget?

First the party team decided to have the party at a smaller, cheaper and much more cozy venue. And then they had a brilliant idea: They would get the partners to staff the bar. At first some partners were apprehensive. These guys (and they’re almost all guys) are known more for their dedication to work, dark suits and businesslike manner than for their ability to get down and party.

Kirsten and her party team cornered a few senior partners and got their support and that convinced the others to give it a try. The result: this became Accenture’s best party ever. Not only was it more fun than the traditional parties, but suddenly the partners were approachable to all employees who could simply step up to the bar and order a gin and tonic from them. The employees loved it and, maybe most surprisingly, the partners loved it. Each of them had to be forced to leave the bar when their shifts were over.

Even after the party the effect was felt through better relations and communication between Accenture’s partners and employees.

Watch your working hours
Watch your working hours. As we saw in chapter X, there is a clear connection between working too much and stress, depression, heart disease and a number of other conditions guaranteed to maek you unhappy at work.

Don’t work too much. It’s that simple. What is too much? Experiment and find out. You may find that you get more work and higher quality work done in 40 hours a week than you do in 60.

Reduce your expenses
This may appear totally unrelated to work at first, but one of the biggest threats to happiness at work is having too many fixed expenses at home. When you’re completely dependent on bringing home a pay check (or two!) every single month, you’re vulnerable. If work turns out to be unbearable you can’t simply up and leave and take three months without income or on unemployment benefits until you find a better job.

This means you’re trapped and ironically that makes things much worse. A bad situation is unpleasant. A bad situation you can’t escape from is excruciating.

If you reduce your personal spending to a level where you can quickly decide to not work for a while or to work at a lower pay, you’re much more free and will have a much easier time becoming happy at work. This may of course mean a smaller house or appartment than you would prefer, no 40-inch flatscreen TV, no second car, etc… The question you must ask yourself is this: Are owning all these things worth it? It may well be worth it to you, in which case staying in a job that does not make you happy is the right choice.

Or you may decide that since your work makes you unhappy you’re not really enjoying all the things your salary buys much anywyay. In which case it makes sense to reduce your expenses to a level that affords you more freedom at work.

Remember that you have a body
Physician Claus Hyldahl, an expert in work-related stress and diseases, rarely pulls any punches. In fact his style involves provoking working professionals to direct their attention to the fact that their lifestyle is bad for them. Says Hyldahl: “Many of the people who think that they’re suffering from stress are just out of shape. That’s why they’re sweating, breathing heavily, their heart is pounding and they’re feeling weak. Not stress, simply bad physical shape. They don’t need to reduce their workload they need to increase their physical load”.

He goes on to talk about the fact that the human body is designed to be used. “Human beings evolved from nomads and consequently evolution has optimized our bodies to a nomadic lifestyle ie. one that involves a lot of walking. Walking 10 km a day is what we’re built for and sitting still is bad for us. In fact, walking less than 10 km a day is as bad for your health as smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.

More and more work today is knowledge-based and goes on mainly inside people’s heads. In many workplaces the body has been reduced to to “that thing that carries the head from meeting to meeting.” That’s not good. Your physical well-being has a huge influence on your mental state, including your happiness at work.

I can tell you nothing new about how to tend to your body at work, you already know what it takes:

Exercise – even mild exercise a few times a week makes a difference
Stop smoking – or cut down
Eat right – Watch what you eat and how much
As for eating right, the most important tip may be this: Eat between meals. It’s a well-known fact that when people’s blood sugar drops they get grumpy. I have noticed this in myself often – I start getting cranky, even the smallest things annoy me and I snap at people. An apple later, I’m fine.

(blood sugar graph)

The book “The Power of Full Engagement” by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz advices us to eat five to six low-calorie, highly nutritious meals a day to ensure a steady level of blood glucose. Sustained performance depends not just on eating at regular intervals but also eating only as much as you need to drive your energy for the next two to three hours. Snacks between meals should typically be between 100 and 150 calories and should focus on low-glycemic foods such as nuts and sunflower seeds, fruits, or half of a typical-size 200 calorie energy bar.

Fun
Fun matters. And any job can be a platform for fun. Even in the most serious situation, fun can be the tool that makes it bearable. Patch Adams is a doctor with a very different view of how to treat patients. You may remember the movie where Robin Williams plays him. In his excellent book Gesundheit! Patch tells this moving story:

I remember an eleven-year old girl who had a huge bony tumor of the face with one eye floating out in the mass. Most people found it difficult to be with her because of her appearance. Her pain was not in the dying but in the loneliness of being a person others could not bear to see. She and I played and joked and enjoyed her life away.

Make room for fun at work. Give up the idea that fun is somehow unprofessional and frivolous. Even if you’re not in the mood for fun that day, let others have theirs – never ruin it for them. Just as importantly: Don’t force people to participate. Some are up for it that day, som aren’t.

Don’t worry too much about what is appropriate or proper. Fun is about being spontaneous and open. Try some things out – here are a few ideas:
Ideas needed!!! Send me some!