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These Personal Traits That Are More Valuable Than A Nike Endorsement Deal
I am not mentioning any names but in light of the current events surrounding us, we should all take time to examine ourselves to see if we are being all that we should be. Don't get me wrong, I am not telling you how to lead your life, I am not telling you what to eat, or when to workout. I'm telling you to be sure that your eyes are open and not to forget the things your Kindergarten teacher and hopefully your parents taught you.
As we go through our days, hundreds of motivations jump in and then jump off our radars. How we react to these motivations defines us. In fact, it determines how you feel inside every morning as you take your first glance in the mirror.
There is no eraser or delete key in life. If you haven't already begun, consider incorporating the following into your life. Not whimsically, but make a real effort. In fact, do it for all of 2010 and see if you notice a difference in your life and happiness levels.
Being Truthful
Never lie. Your words should reflect all that you say and do. If you think and do one thing, but say the opposite of those thoughts and actions, that's a lie. We've all heard the saying, "A man's word is his bond." If only that was so. Sometimes we lie to cover up an indiscretion. Sometimes we lie to make ourselves appear to be better than we are. Sometimes we lie to keep from hurting someone's feelings. I firmly believe, because it has been my experience, that eventually all lies will be exposed. Ultimately, there is no benefit to telling a lie.
Being Faithful
Since when has it become okay to cheat on our wives? Unfaithfulness is becoming so commonplace that many people accept it and thus do nothing about it. We turn our heads. We hide behind statements like "It's none of my business," and we do nothing.
Have you ever attended a wedding? Even if you aren't married, there is a pretty good chance that you've actually witnessed one. Maybe it was held at a church; maybe it wasn't. Doesn't matter. A man and a woman stand up in front of a crowd of people (as few as a crowd of 2; as many as hundreds -- maybe thousands), and proclaim their undying love and faithfulness to each other. Why do you think there are witnesses? It is for accountability.
When we cheat, those who witnessed our proclamation of eternal faith to our spouse should say, "Hey, what's the deal? We saw you with our own eyes -- we heard you with our own ears -- you promised to love, honor, and cherish your spouse as long as you both shall live!" If you cheat, you should have to stand up in front all those people who witnessed your wedding and explain your actions. You should have to explain why you couldn't communicate with your spouse and resolve things in a reasonable fashion.
Being Honorable
In both your professional and personal lives, be honorable. What does that mean, exactly? To be honorable means to be highly respected or esteemed. In order for you to be highly respected or esteemed, you must be unselfish; integrity must be your middle name (if not your first). Be an honorable husband/wife. Following these guidelines, we must always put our wife's/husband's needs ahead of our own, and we must have strong moral principles. I don't feel that "strong moral principles" is a topic that is open to interpretation. To many, their God sets those standards. To others, it's common sense, or learned from books or parents. Honor is not up for discussion; it's meaning is set in stone. You have it or you don't.
Being Trustworthy
Can you be relied upon to say and do what is right all the time? If so, then you are worthy of the trust of your peers. Others believe that you won't do wrong; nor will you tell a lie. Being trustworthy is a very big deal. You don't get to decide whether you are trustworthy, though. Others will decide that for themselves. You can have some input into their decision, though -- by actually being trustworthy.
Being Respectful
In all that you do, be respectful of others. This could be read as another form of the "Do unto others..." saying. For the sake of this discussion, though, let's disregard any physical connotation that this may bring to mind, such as punching or slapping. Often when we are disrespectful, we hurt others far worse than if we actually had punched them. Cheating on your spouse is the ultimate form of disrespect. Our spouses always deserve our respect. No matter what! Remember the end of "Do unto others..."? It isn't "as you have had done to you" -- no, it's "as you would have them do unto you." You can't make the world a better place by reciprocating bad with bad.
Today we so often hear a phrase like "raising the bar," to indicate that a new minimum standard has been established. When it comes to these 5 traits listed above, the minimum standard should be a wall over which we must climb or leap. People can, and so often do, walk right under the bar.
What other character traits would you deem as defining? Do you feel that you have all of those traits? Does that question make you cringe?
Written on 12/10/2009 by David Jones. David blogs at Control Yourself! A blog focusing on becoming better men, and various men's issues. Photo Credit: p@r@noid
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Thank you for trying to help me keep the comment section on DLM clean. Please explain why you are flagging this comment in the text box below and submit your report. The blog admin will be notified. Thank you for your input. -Jay Logging you in... Close
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0 Vote up Vote down Nealreal · 1 week ago
Amen to this post. We have the ability to make the right choices - but without the power of God, humans will often revert back to their evil selves. Humanity can't change or doing anything of significant without God's help (John 15:5).
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1 reply · active 1 week ago
+1 Vote up Vote down David Jones 16p · 1 week ago
Nealreal:
Thanks for the comment!
It does seem that we often will take the easy way out, which also may very well be the wrong way. A successful marriage is very hard work. Much easier to just walk away and seek instant gratification.
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0 Vote up Vote down @PageWrite · 1 week ago
You make some very good points here. How can we expect anyone to be honest with us, be faithful to us, or respect us, if we are dishonest, unfaithful, or disrespectful ourselves.
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1 reply · active 1 week ago
+1 Vote up Vote down David Jones 16p · 1 week ago
@PageWrite:
Thanks for the comment!
It seems so simple, yet we all struggle to incorporate these traits into our lives. It isn't easy to be the person that we should be -- but I think it is definitely worth the effort to try!
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0 Vote up Vote down FedUp · 1 week ago
Why do you think there are witnesses? It is for accountability.
When we cheat, those who witnessed our proclamation of eternal faith to our spouse should say, "Hey, what's the deal? We saw you with our own eyes -- we heard you with our own ears -- you promised to love, honor, and cherish your spouse as long as you both shall live!" If you cheat, you should have to stand up in front all those people who witnessed your wedding and explain your actions. You should have to explain why you couldn't communicate with your spouse and resolve things in a reasonable fashion.
This is absolutely perfect. Having been on the receiving end of an incredibly deceitful man - who lied about every thing and numerous other women.... It should be a requirement. Sad thing is tho - no one wants to be accountable for their actions any more.
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1 reply · active 1 week ago
+1 Vote up Vote down David Jones 16p · 1 week ago
FedUp:
Thanks for the comment!
I'm sorry for the difficulties that you've had. I hope that things are better for you now. A large part of the time, people will let us down, just as we let others down.
I think it is important in the case of a marriage for each spouse to commit to the marriage over everything else. Frequently, our spouses are going to do things that make us want to walk away from the marriage. So if one's only commitment is to his/her spouse, then the marriage will fail. But if one is committed to making the marriage work, he/she can get past those ill feelings he/she has toward his/her spouse.
I hope to reach out to men and offer advice that will help them be the men they should be.
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0 Vote up Vote down maddog · 1 week ago
Wonderful post. I wish more people read this. When I was a bit younger, I always thought these are just traits that everyone should have, that they're nothing all that special because to me, they should be the basic standard to any decent human being. Over the last few years, however, I found that I'm just really naive about people in general, and that makes me sad.
I am amazed at how many people have tried to tell me that nothing is black and white, everything is shades of grey, there is no right and wrong, etc. Funny it's always the people who do wrong who say these things.
Maybe I'm stubborn and old fashion for my age (just shy of 30), but I always counter that no, sometimes there IS right and wrong. Sometimes there are no shades of grey. Somehow they just don't get the idea of integrity.
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1 reply · active 1 week ago
+1 Vote up Vote down David Jones 16p · 1 week ago
maddog:
Thank you so much for the comment! It is sad indeed to see the decline in morals of society as a whole.
Speaking for men, I can tell you that sometimes we forget the importance of the role we play as a father, and also as a husband, in helping to instill these traits mentioned in this article into the lives of those we touch. And the best way to do that is to live it -- not just speak it!
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0 Vote up Vote down Charles Chua C K · 1 week ago
Honesty is the best policy. Being truthful means you can sleep soundly at night and you don't have to ask for forgiveness from God for the thngs that you hvee done wrong.morally. You face the world with the fullest confidence.
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1 reply · active 1 week ago
+1 Vote up Vote down David Jones 16p · 1 week ago
Charles:
Thank you for the comment!
Is it just me, of does it seem to be harder to remember the lies you've told than to remember the truth? It seems that we must tell additional lies to cover up lies we've told in the past; it gets exponentially more difficult to keep the story from unraveling. If you tell the truth, however, you don't have to worry about keeping your story straight. The truth is always straight!
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0 Vote up Vote down Jim · 1 week ago
Nothing new here. Not a bad reminder though.
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1 reply · active 1 week ago
+1 Vote up Vote down David Jones 16p · 1 week ago
Jim:
Thanks for the comment! I agree, there isn't anything new here. If everyone would just adopt these traits, THAT would be new :-).
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0 Vote up Vote down donna · 1 week ago
Boils down to respect. Respect for others and respect for oneself (integrity), most of all respect for our Creator & his commandments for us to live by.
The bible also tells us not to become unevenly yoked (with unbelievers) . It will only make our own christian walk that much more difficult.
Make sure of all things, hold fast to what is fine.
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0 replies · active less than 1 minute ago
0 Vote up Vote down kathleen · 1 week ago
here, here!!!!! Perfectly said!
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0 replies · active less than 1 minute ago
0 Vote up Vote down Srinivas Rao · 1 week ago
This is an interesting take on things. The most important thing to me is the honesty part. I think many guys who are on ly interested in no strings attached relationships would be better off if they were just upfront about it. While it may seem that it would scare a woman off, I think you'll save her and yourself alot of heartache in the long run.
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0 replies · active less than 1 minute ago
0 Vote up Vote down janeonthemoon · 1 week ago
I'm so glad that someone has said this, written it down, made it important enough to talk about. The more it is talked about and repeated the more people will stop, think and take on these values. We know what is right but sometimes I think the world gets so confusing people forget or let themselves slip. Thank you for writing this article.
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1 reply · active 1 week ago
+1 Vote up Vote down David Jones 16p · 1 week ago
janeonthemoon:
Thank you for such a kind comment. This stuff is indeed important. Please spread it around :-).
David
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0 Vote up Vote down noneagle · 1 week ago
"A scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, clean, and reverent." I think the boy scouts were on to something there...
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3 replies · active 5 days ago
+1 Vote up Vote down David Jones 16p · 1 week ago
noneagle:
You know, it's kinda funny -- when I originally submitted this article to DLM, I had used a photo of a hand doing the scout's honor.
You're right. It would be great if we were required to strive to master these traits, just as the scouts do.
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+1 Vote up Vote down wasabiburger 4p · 5 days ago
The picture you ended up using is quite funny! ;)
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+1 Vote up Vote down David Jones 16p · 5 days ago
I can't take credit for that. It is a great picture, though! I'm guessing Jay chose that.
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These Personal Traits That Are More Valuable Than A Nike Endorsement Deal
2009-12-10T12:33:00-06:00
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